lakwatserang ansikutero: ay blag der four ay em

[pics] larawan ng batas

2006-05-22T23:55:00.000+08:00

eto si papa j. nasa meeting kami nyan. he didn't have to be there. di nga sha kasama sa mga iniemail eh, pero dahil sha ang batas ng logistics, kelangan niyang ipagtanggol ang kagalingan ng kanyang mga tauhan.

[See pics here.]

LSS ni manong tricycle

2006-05-22T00:02:00.000+08:00

it's fascinating to LSS on a song for several days and hear a trike driver singing it while he's zipping through the metro manila maze.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

one of these days you'll miss your train and come stay with me
we'll have drinks and talk about things

any excuse to stay awake with you

you'll sleep here, i'd sleep there,
but then the heating may be down again at my convenience

we'd be good

we'd be great together

why'd you have to be so cute?
it's impossible to ignore you
must you make me laugh so much
it's bad enough we get along so well

say goodnight and go

goodnight and go [imogen heap]

let's do a wrap up

2006-05-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

nagpakababoy nung monday sa tony roma's with lonestar. ribs all around! i don't know how it happened but i might have been the one who killed draide's cam. don't worry, ipapaayos ko po sa friend ko. i-remind mo lang ako to get it done.
tumawag si yoshi nung tuesday night. dumating na kasi ung cheap-ment niya. bumili rin si mokong ng crest whitestrips pero ung pang dentist kaya higher concentration ng bleach. ouch meng, di ko na kaya un. hehehe. come back na! i have no one to hang out with on tuesday nights na!
wednesday = guess who's going to mauritius?! remember our convo dude... wifi under the sun, bask in the heat with your hot bikini-ed girls while, mai-tai in hand, checking my multiply site for pictures of the startgroup na wala ka *hint hint*. you can't have it all you know. hehehe. exage ha, 3-7 months? i'm going to miss you pare. waaaah! iwan mo na ako!
watched da vinci code with the joe's (eks, xuj, aff, ted) and patrick on thursday. LFS, ended at 1ish in the morning. i liked it. ekai didn't. they changed quite a bit of the screenplay to a.) make filming easier, and b.) to fit their concept plot better. i still like the original plot better, it wasn't as blatant as this one eh. from point a to point b ung focus ng film. pictures of the night and movie review to follow.
nanakaw ung phone ni xuj nung friday sa bus sa may 6750. shet meng, ang loser talaga. worse of all, i don't feel bad dahil nawala ung phone, i feel bad kasi nawala ung STRAP na kasama nung phone. *ducks and hides* loves ko pa naman ung strap na un. xuj, will lend you my other cel. kunin mo na lang one of these days.
saturday early afternoon = release. nag overflow daw sabi ni janet nung ni-run niya sa prod. that's not supposed to happen. kaya nga ni apply ko ung limit-to-four na change eh. janet naman. ano ba...
saturday early afternoon - missed butz's YOF. will go next week.
HOMAYGAD, BIRTHDAY PALA NI IRIS KANINA! puteeeeeeek pano ko nakalimutan un? i'm such a bad friend talaga. maria iris cuspao palmera belated happy 23rd birthday!
which reminds me... JAMIESON OBIAS, BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIN PO! i won't say na your age kasi jahe na un. hehehe.
watched a three and a half hour colors of worship concert this saturday evening. it ended 11ish pm na, and i didn't notice the time talaga. ang galing ng imusicappela (sp? gala and dentist uniforms!) and the adventist university (angas the black attire men) and the magsaysay highschool. linis ng sound, grabe. univoice. what happend to UE?! i guess fresh pa ung mga tao nila. salamat xuj sa ticket, kay vince para sa ride, at kay ed and ted for the car entertainment. wag naman ganun ka boring next time ha? di nga ako nakapagYOF pero hardcore worship songs naman for three hours. sleepy songs pa at that. at wag mashadong ma-depress sa performance.
sunday na. what does today hold for me?

[pics] Starbucks at the Fifth

2006-05-21T00:03:00.000+08:00

12 Friday 2006
post-Peter at the nice Starbucks with powernap sofa's with Aff's cam.

talking about femme boys, girly boys, boys boys, and the gargling suka sounds we heard on the plane.

Aff bought the guava juice. This is like the third or fourth time in my entire life na nilibre nya ako sa Starbucks. This time I have proof. =)

[See pics here.]

notebooks and scraps

2006-05-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

google is the ultimate... once again, they've created a need for something that we never thought we should be using before. introducing, google notebook, where you can save pasted stuff from the net complete with links directly to your google storage.

google notebook i loves it!

thank god for google being smart enough to anticipate me using "compose email" and "save draft" into web memos for myself. my only issue with this tool is that you need to download an extension ('cause firefox is the shiznit) or a .exe ('cause IE sucks ass) to install it.

basically, you install whatever needs to be installed, restart your browser and wham. highlight whatever you needed highlighted - include pictures, links, whatevs man - then right-click and select "Note this (Google Notebook)" and it'll save everything HTML format and all into your notebook site. I don't know exactly how it works in IE, but there's also a sort of in-window pop-up thingy -- like the googletalk chat browser function in gmail -- which shows you the last four notes you selected.

i hope one day, they'll make it work for all OS applications. so while i'm on SAP, i'll just paste whatever shit, or maybe screenshot whatever directly only the notebook and the world will be a happy place. earth to larry page and sergey brin! *hint hint*

bwahahaha, matakot ka na web backlog! i know how to document you and your elusive lonestar links.

off-topic:

kausap ko si janet kanina. sabi niya mahahabol daw ung scrap contract sa release!

PUTANGINACANIJUSTJUMPFORFREAKINGJOY?!

INYOURFACEYOSHIFORSAYINGHINDEKOSHAMATATAPOS!

TAEKATALAGAEVERKAHITNAFRIENDSTAYOTAEKAPARIN!

i love you janet. kahit na optimist ka habang ako realist.

ano raw?

2006-05-17T00:01:00.000+08:00

nasa labas na ako ng gate ng bahay namin nun. hinihintay ko buksan ung gate ng aking beloved mommy. kakadoorbell ko lang kasi. pagod na ako, gutom at sabog na sa kakaisip ng code ko buong araw. *shakes fist at scrap contract* ang gusto ko lang eh lumanta sa kama ko habang sumisipsip ng melon/orange shake -- tulala na nakaharap sa tv, nanonood ng lumang episodes ng csi at 24.

pumasok na ako. unang lingon.

andun ung feeling-englisherang-majorly-matronic na kapitbahay namin. nakikiinom sa tsaa ng nanay ko sabay chismis sa iba pang not-so-feeling-englisherang-majorly-matronic na kapitbahay namin.

muster a smile, isip ko sa sarili. ngiti. yech, ang plastic.

hinde 'hello!'. walang 'kumusta?'.

instead.

[and brace yourself]

"is you are so much there as you were here now?"

feeling englisherang majorly matronic ladies are SIAO!

yung "are you going house na?" ni milo makes sense at least.

so kinuwento ko to kay milo... eto ung mga suggested hirit niya (for documentation purposes of course):
01. yeah is there me here than you more there.
02. are there anywhere you say that you are?
03. is the wishing you the house when tired.

thumbs-up sa effort, pero sana tinagalog na lang ako.

ultimatum

2006-05-15T00:04:00.000+08:00

Ultimately - Ernest Hemingway

He tried to spit out the truth;
Dry mouthed at first,
He drooled and slobbered in the end;
Truth dribbling his chin.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

i never knew he was gay. he never acted like a baklain. he wasn't metro either. he never showed an attraction to other men, though there were always several fags running after him.

others had an inkling of it, but they just thought he was on the down low. he recently admitted that he's a bug chaser. he had to because he has HIV now. i'm sad. i might lose a friend.

babay SE

2006-05-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

malapit na yung birthday ng s700 ko. kelangan na shang ilagay sa retirement.

kung hinde ko lang ito nakita kanina, i'd still stick to my plan of buying the motorola L7. tapos na realize ko na moto has always had batt issues (kasama na dun yung V3x ni mish... which i saw was being sold sa greenhills for only 14.7k). sawa na ako na mag charge every three days eh and then i saw the samsung x820 (tingnan ung picture sa baba). fooooocha, ganda men!

pero wala pa ring tatalo sa 3mp na mp3 playing n80 ng nokia. 3mp! mp3! wala na. di ko na kelangan ng digicam at ng archos/zen/ipod nyan. ang only concern ko is hinde covered ung lens ng cam. i guess kelangan na bilhan ng protective shit yan.

kelangan ko na magipon ulet! goodbye SE. goodbye savings...

[pics] LQ sa Shang

2006-05-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

peter was EARLY so sila lang ni eks until i got there. then he left. then eks and i went around the mall. then aff arrived. we saw cp who's studying to be a pilot. then ted arrived. aff left. then ken arrived. end of may 12th.

aff, nasan pics mo?

[See pics here.]

word up

2006-05-12T00:08:00.000+08:00

For me, to travel is to feed my being with the thought of being present for someone, somewhere.

work to learn to work to learn

2006-05-11T00:08:00.000+08:00

this is such a cheese but i'm starting to like work again. snaps for me getting the scrap finished! well, kinda. i dunno, these days i'm a lot more calm and a lot less distracted. somehow i believe it's because my laptop's so fucking sad and slow that i end up closing all irrelevant programs, even the ones necessary necessary to get BS certified. i don't even chat anymore. but then, my constant IM-mate is on training until june.

i know this is the shit but i'm taking what master j said to heart. milo's said it before. so did leyo, francis, shaun, madame amore, kuya erwin, harlie, mish, mark, etc etc. i'm stuck here so i might as well get used to it. MAKE THE MOST AND LEARN, jason said. sige, dahil si master j yan, at gwapo sha, idol, and kuya ko, i will listen. but seriously, i am getting interested in all that web and edi and whatever reservations shit. i wanna work on workflows. i may be biting off more than i can chew, but screw it, jeff's not here to get me all depressed on why i'm still with acn. geoff's excitement on work in infectious, and i got contaminated.

action item: GET ADDICTED TO GREEN TEA AND DRINK IT WITH A STRAW. LEARN DAMNIT.

OFF-TOPIC:

last, my ex-husband will be back this fri-mon and he's suggested to go out 3pm-onwards on the 12th. milo, i'm cutting-work/using-up-my-offset-hours. basta, scheduled leave. come to think of it, hinde ko pa natapos ung transactions na dapat para sa tuesday dun sa stock exchange...and it's already the fifteenth on monday. DEADEST DEADLINE. should i just leave the entire day on friday instead? hmmm... i probably will. uwi ko na lang ung laptop para tapos na.

instead of doing this why don't you officials do something more productive... like improve highways and sponsor the development of alternative fuels or something. you think that movie is bad? you want that banned? i suggest you ban all the b-rate pinoy porn you try to sell off as legitimate movies first. hell, i suggest you read the book first. we're not saying that the flick's saying is true. we're not agreeing with its plot, but we're mature enough to realize the difference between our faith and how others want to portray it. if you're a true catholic, you'd know all the juicy smutty christian history ala-tabloidic details and still believe in christ anyway. the point is not the history behind it all, but rather WHAT THE MAN TAUGHT and HOW HE LIVED. that's the main idea of the sentence of life. discern the difference. for those who can't, well, that's their choice. let them deal with it.

[pics] what's SAP with that?

2006-05-09T00:09:00.000+08:00

broadcasting to you live from work!

puro Lonestar ito ah...

01. SAP-CoE All Hands (5th May 2006)
02. Welcome back Geoff! (8th May 2006)
03. Lonestar Team pictures (9th May 2006)

[See pics here.]

nine-hundred thirty two!

2006-05-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

i had half of this today... and i still feel queasy. this shit kills.

Nutrition Facts Calculated for 1 deep fried mars bar (175g) Recipe makes 1 deep fried mars bar

Calories 932 Calories from Fat 114 (12%)
Amount Per Serving		%DV
Total Fat 12.8g		19%
	Saturated Fat 3.8g	19%
	Polyunsat. Fat 2.5g
	Monounsat. Fat 5.5g
	Trans Fat 0.0g
Cholesterol 8mg		2%
Sodium 157mg		6%
Potassium 298mg		8%
Total Carbohydrate 185.2g		61%
	Dietary Fiber 5.0g	19%
	Sugars 26.4g
Protein 17.1g		34%
Vitamin A 27mcg		0%
Vitamin B₆ 0.1mg		4%
Vitamin B₁₂ 0.2mcg		3%
Vitamin C 0mg		0%
Vitamin E 2mcg		8%
Calcium 104mg		10%
Magnesium 65mg		16%
Iron 6mg		36%
Alcohol 0.0g Caffeine 2.0mg
detailed view... \| how is this calculated?

The Human Abstract

2006-05-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

by William Blake

Pity would be no more
If we did not make somebody poor,
And Mercy no more could be
If all were as happy as we.

And mutual fear brings Peace,
Till the selfish loves increase;
Then Cruelty knits a snare,
And spreads his baits with care.

He sits down with his holy fears,
And waters the ground with tears;
Then Humility takes its root
Underneath his foot.

Soon spreads the dismal shade
Of Mystery over his head,
And the caterpillar and fly
Feed on the Mystery.

And it bears the fruit of Deceit,
Ruddy and sweet to eat,
And the raven his nest has made
In its thickest shade.

The gods of the earth and sea
Sought through nature to find this tree,
But their search was all in vain:
There grows one in the human Brain.

unaccounted

2006-05-06T00:11:00.000+08:00

out with the platinum. out with the gold.

i felt bad for not using all the stuff a paid multiply member has. what's the point of having an upgraded account if i'm not going to post a thousand pictures and upload a gazillion mp3s and seemingly unlimited videos? why do i need it i'm not gonna even attempt to personalize my style sheets?

so what if i wasn't the one who shelled out the cash for that account. it's a waste of money. it really is. money that wasn't even mine. *feels small*

i'll upgrade on an as-needed basis jeff. thanks for laying your plastic out, but gone is the mood to flex it. for now, my life is chained to this shitty texan.

rambol

2006-05-03T00:13:00.001+08:00

i need a visa - not the plastic but the workers permit.

plus a copy of neil young's hey hey my my.

reminder: 15th of may, starbucks is releasing it's banana coconut frappe. sounds funky, tastes heavenly. geek promotion! the fifteenth is a monday. head's up milo, i'm gonna come in even later than usual on that day.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

janet: so geoff, what did you guys do on the weekend?
geoff: we went shaffing.
geoff: ... shapping
geoff: ... shap
geoff: ... SHOPping.

testimony of pinoyness. yay, geoff's back. he's got my crest whitestrips with him. can't wait to bleach enamel! i hope it doesn't burn my gums or anything.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ange has this myspace pic of her kissing a rad sketch on some random salinass wall. streetart! streetart! of course we copied it (jc making out with graffiti somewhere in oranbo), and i wont upload 'em as they're too, well, nakakahiya. hahaha.

i love my joes. yo joes! i wish all my joes were like those joes. my school joes are still stuck in 'school' mode. bukol sila eh.

back to the graffiti streetart.

manila speak twenty-four

2006-05-03T00:13:00.000+08:00

intro. i had dinner in inagiku with sean and kai. japanese is really not my thing. i should have thrown a tantrum to eat at red or circles. sean was already drunk when we met up. not my fault and not kai's either. a blubbering drunkass. some things just never change.

ONE.
kai and i talk about her .com geeky boyfriend travis who she left in CA. i haven't met him but i love him already! he works as a stats geek for google!

kai: my boyfriend? naku, he's so jologs noh!

diane: really, like how?

sean: yeah, describe him in one word.

kai: aDORKable!

diane: wow, sakto ka rin ha.

sean: you can leave the phils, but your conyo breeding will never leave you.

TWO.
while walking to the starbucks near AIM, we passed by this pretty colegiala that sean tried to 'pick up'. very charmingly, if i may add.

* sean takes hold of the colegiala's hand. *

sean: all i'm asking for is one night, sweets. you know what, i'll make you a better offer. i'll throw in a couple STD's just for you... 'cause even though i don't know your name, you're already special to me.

... and fucking shit, his lines worked.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

do you watch 24? ever wondered how jack bauer's magical celphone always RINGs. always! even when he's undercover (which is kinda stupid)!

and wonder of wonders... does his celphone use satellite technology? it ALWAYS has signal. always! it doesn't matter if he's several floors underground or several thousand miles above ground on a plane... he'll always ALWAYS get signal.

madali lang pala hanapin si jack bauer. just put a trace on his phone, and you'll get him.

tan threshold (bicol/sorsogon)

2006-05-02T00:14:00.000+08:00

omg. ef. ef. ef. like, grrr. ef talaga!

i don't have pictures.

we'd brought several visual recording equipment: celphones with 2mp cameras, p/s digicams, this awesome slr which had a gazillion lenses and even a dv cam, but the only photos that we took were those on my phone and eric's cam. the only pics that SURVIVED are on my phone. that wasn't even half of the first day of our trip with only less than half the players!

now, i have no visual memories of:

overcrowded punta fuego in the overcrowded batangas cove where all those other overcrowded resorts were located
legazpi city and other bicol shiite like overclouded mayon, and the cagsawa church and all the bag markets we went to and peanuts! cashews! BIGGS!
bacon and bacon beach (really! BACON! is it bacon like macon, or like the greasy canadian pork strips?). the town of bacon has an awesome beach. it's very 'filipino' and nearly undeveloped, but it's waters are free of jellyfish and seaweed and is teeming with non-dangerous wildlife. very reminiscent of south africa with its giant black boulders on the shore too. i like it better than boracay because it's got superfine golden sand which i'm more partial to compared to white sand.
bulusan everything! the lake! the volcano! the beaches! the artsy fartsy shots! bulusan is soooo beatiful! i love it love it love it!

nature was gorgeous. hands down talaga ako kay god. jesus is my idol. wowness.

i really should get out of manila more often. i'm starting to get shocked with seeing so much green everywhere. whatevs man.

next time, i swear i will stick these into the itinerary:

paguiran island - they say it has gorgeous pools of water. on the beach itself but separate, like a cove or a sandtrap but surrounded by those giant boulders and wildlife... mala coron in palawan except on a smaller scale
prieto something - where the sand is coarse and golden and mostly made up of ground shells and limestone
donsol - waaaah! didn't get to see my whale sharks THIS TIME. someone kill me. next time, god willing, i will FORCE my companions into snorkelling with the giant underwater beasts. i got so psyched to see them and suddenly they were cut from the original plan. damned scaredy cats kasi eh.

travel tips:

avoid traveling during the day... especially during noon. it's so damned hot! the same aircon which froze us when we drove at night, fried us during the noon-hours.
tagaytay traffic is worse than metro manila traffic. seriously worse. avoid tagaytay at all costs even when you have a house there.
go cough up the extra cash and get yourselves a driver who knows the region. preferably someone who even speaks the dialect and knows the most awesome places to go to. and one who isn't scared to drive in the dead of night so his passengers wake up all ready to go to the beach! travel time to the south was a bitch but we saved hours because we travelled while sleeping. that way, we maximized most of our daylight hours onsite.

next week, batangas ulet with the FS.

next next week, galera with lonestar mates.

i thought it wasn't possible for me to get darker, or to even get sunburned with all this ozone baking i've been doing. posible pala. malamang sa incoming weeks, mas iitim pa ako. hahaha, nognog!

[pics] femilares brat pack

2006-05-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

took a family vaca from April 29th to May 1st.

these pics are only of us in tagaytay (half of day 1). walang pics sa mga beach =(

water is bad for digital toys. we don't have any water-ready digital toys eh.

[See pics here.]

you! tubed.

2006-04-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

i'm not sleepy yet! in two hours we'll be on the road again. they say globe might not have signal, so head's up milo. baka ma-divert ung calls sayo. i hope smart's cellsites are still accessible. i feel kinda stupid going to places where the signal bars on my phone drop to an ominous 'one'. ang archaic naman ng lugar na ito at kelangan ko pang umakyat sa puno ng mangga para lang magreply sa text. but there's internet. mabilis pa. oh diba?

reudan neri: if you get to read this please tell ken to buy me pastel as pasalubong. and gus too. and ara. you too. gusto ko ng maraming pastel.

stomp (who misses me raw. yuck.) emailed a bunch of youtube sites to check out. SNL's spoof of The Newlyweds was first. it stars Jimmy Fallon as Nick Lachey, and Justin Timberlake as Jessica Simpson.

Nick: Look, here's the deal. I've known jessica for a long time and I know she's not gonna cure cancer ok. To be honest, I wouldn't even trust her to cure a ham.
Jessica: Awww. The ham is sick? *sad pout*

hi-lar-ious. gotta love justin's interpretation. that face just makes me laugh. sy-mandt! hahaha.

other videos i watched were SNL's Harry Potter (with La Lohan as Hermione) (obviously stomp's fave as it shows La Lohan when she was still more endowed), and the non-aired Xbox Standoff Commercial.

I really liked the Xbox ad, although it's understandably violent and might trigger even more violent tendencies in already violent America. Great concept though. Flash mob in a subway. It was even copied by a bunch of UofF students here, except theirs was held outdoors, there were a lot of non-participants caught in the shot and the camera was stuck in one angle.

Does anyone know the song played on the Xbox Standoff ad? It has "pull that tiger" repetitively as lyrics.

naiinis ako

2006-04-28T00:16:00.000+08:00

read THIS article to find out why. it's worth it, promise.

akala ko ba you should celebrate your culture? paano kung iniinsulto ng iba? paano kung seven years old ka pa lang, at principal mo ung nangiinsulto sayo? hinde ka kaya ma traumatize dahil dun? grrr.

ano ba yung problemo mo white man?

[pics] iskul bukol

2006-04-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

buhay IT. 2002-2004.

[See pics here.]

[pics] seventeen plus plus years ago

2006-04-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

my kiddie pics from the time i was a baby with an ilongga amah (yaya), up to the time my sister died. see, i have proof that i wasn't an only child.

if bint were alive, she'd turn 19 this year.

forgive the poor photo quality. i was just taking pictures of pictures using my phone.

[See pics here.]

[pics] freshies and edsa dos

2006-04-27T00:18:00.000+08:00

2000-2002
totoy and nene pics of some of us. i wonder where aff's and ted's are? alam ko meron ako nung ID's nila eh.

and edsa dos. remember the turtle prof? openiano? the one who forced us to rally at the shrine and who failed aff? ya, this was the project. it was a reaction paper on the on-goings at the rally.

[See pics here.]

Toogle!

2006-04-27T00:17:00.000+08:00

cred to yoshi for emailing me this site. it's pretty cool once you try it out. you basically use google's platform for searching images and the site automatically transforms the first picture (I'm Feeling Lucky!) retrieved into ascii format.

step-by-step (ooh baby, gonna get to you girl...):
01. go to this website.
02. search whatever. in my case i used 'dysphasic.multiply.com'
03. press the search button

sy-mandt ne vbap-kunnr

2006-04-26T00:25:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: non-SAP people won't understand this.

reminder to self:

diane, when you start to think that you suck at work... remember today and the story of SY-MANDT as CLIENT! The client is not a customer.

sy-mandt ne vbap-kunnr.

alam kong mababasa mo rin ito. di bale, di ko naman sinabi kung sino ka eh.

one day, promise to god, hahanga rin ang mga tao sa galing ko sa SAP.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

happy 21st month startgroup! 3 more months, freedom na.

galit ako sa isang tao jan kasi uunahan niya ako mag quit. ang daya. grrrr. dapat ako unang mag quit! AKO! me!!! hehehe. pero as i told you, congrats talaga. sobrang happy ako para sayo. (ang wirdo ng smiley, mukhang manyak.) chong, wag mong kalimutan magpakain.

tara, laro tayo!

2006-04-26T00:24:00.000+08:00

Step 1: Put your MP3 player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post a line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song. (i actually didn't know a bunch of the songs played on random. hahaha. ^_^ )
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: No cheating.

i often told myself that we could be more than just friends
she’s putting on her string bean love
glow baby glow as the embers they died there
i hate to see you here. you choke behind a smile, a fake behind the fear.
i was waiting on a moment, but the moment never came
i wanna spread the news that if it feels this good getting used, oh you just keep on using me until you use me up
oh lord gal, i got the right tactics to turn you on, and girl i wanna be the papa, you can be the mom
umaasang maaabot ng tanaw habang naghihintay ng sakay nya
and as i threw job, i drove myself to a martyred wretch to see if I drew pity or pretty litanies from the Lord
let's play twister, let's play risk. ya, ya, ya, ya.
i'm gonna go to sleep let this wash all over me
baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
she was a sour girl the day that she met me
i love spelling too that’s before I choked on tiddah. losing that word brought so much shit up
tiny little text etched into her neck it said "jesus lived and died for all your sins."
i never looked at you that way 'cause i always thought you were gay
they only hit until you cry and after that you don't ask why
y parece que un beso te cerrara la boca
rubbing sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite and the thought of rubbing you is getting so exciting.
and when she was happy, so was i... when she loved me.

bitch, please.

2006-04-26T00:23:00.000+08:00

gotta train my mind to SPEAK in english. we've got the blue passports over at home and now the only thing i hear besides texan accents is ghetto speak. gotta speak in ENGLISH, yo.

i just got home a while back. had dinner at rockwell (again!) and i'm getting sick of the place. like, please, isn't there ANY other place we can eat in? eric (ENGLISH remember? gotta lose the 'kuya' part.) is just so in love with crustasia that we've been having dinner there for like, what, the entire week? i am SICK of the green curry fish i always order. i am SICK of the milk tea. i miss homecooked meals like the weird biryani my mom made which had no pine nuts. gaaah. i miss broasted chicken and garlic sauuuuuuce. *sob*

me: i am SICK of the green curried salmon. I SWEAR IF I HAVE TO EAT IT ONE MORE TIME, I WILL FUCKING PUKE.
eric: just pick another thing from the menu then. order something else for a change.
* i browse the menu, the waiter comes and takes orders. suddenly, i'm the only one left...
waiter: ma'am, ano po ung order nyo?
me: aaah, umm.
*long pause
me: i'll get the curried salmon... and the milk tea please.
* eric looks at me like i'm from outer space.
me: whaaatcha looking at me for? i didn't have enough time to browse the menu.
eric: bitch, please.

and other below-the-belt conversations...
joelly: uh-teh, you went to a convent school right?
me: oh yeah. for high school.
joelly: so, like, do you have to wear uniforms?
me: yeah. (hey, this isn't chat. you've got to drag the 'ea' from the 'yeah'. it's not just 'ya' like the way geoff and milo say it.)
joelly: so how'd they look like.
me: vile. like the maid's uniforms in daslu.
eric: ano ba! wag mo nga pagsasabihan ng mga kasinungalingan mo!
me: shut your trap eric.
eric: putangina mo babae ka.
ryan: at least babae pa rin si tita, di tulad ng mama mo eric na lesbiana.
*ouch!*
me: ryan, go fuck yourself.

losing my respectability:
*waiting for our bill...
ryan: so what do you do when you're not at work?
me: me? same old stuff. i go out and shop.
kiev: uh-teh, i thought you were broke.
me: on days when i'm broke, i stay home and watch tv or read or download music.
*as an afterthought
me: oh, i also blog.
ryan: you what?
me: blog.
ryan: no, i heard you... you? blog?
*cue inane laughter*
ryan: loser.
me: so now i'm not respectable in your eyes?
*cue drama shit*
me: tell me how i can gain it back?
ryan: chill d, it's not like you were ever respectable in my eyes anyway.

cousins. don't you just love 'em?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

backtrack. today was an uneventful day at work. roman's still not progressing on the sir he took from me and i've got to cram for the IQA. plus, i found a glitch in my scrap contract code... AGAIN. auuuuuuuurgh! why do the god's curse me?! erase the damned test data i say. hahaha. it'll be like CSI where whatsherface manipulates the evidence. no milo, I WON'T DO THAT. leastways, NOT YET.

charlino also celebrated his birthday. the guy bought us all ice cream. such kids, i swear. i'm pouting 'cause he didn't have double dutch, and that's like the only flavor ice cream i really wanted. but i'm glad that he celebrated because at least now he and milo are FRIENDS! hahaha, 'cause milo finally HEARD the poor guy. like, if i didn't know any better, i'd have gauged charlino as mute. that's how quiet he is. as if he was tortured as a kid for crying or whatnot. but hey, at least he doesn't whistle like pol. really, there's whistling... and then there's whistling. you know what i mean.

* pol begins to whistle
draide: uy, name that tune!
me: happy birthday?
draide: totoo?
me: i have no idea, parang wlang tono naman un eh.

* at the IQA meeting earlier today
leyo: wag kayo magpapapirate kay pol ha?
may: malaki sweldo nun. six digits.
leyo: balita ko may mga usap usap na jan si pol.
* leyo looks around the room. the rest of us all look at milo. cue laughter.
milo: hinde un simpleng sipol lang.
me: yeah, hinde un standard or special. morse code un.
* laughter again.

but really, the guy is irritating. i'd be more understanding if he was LISTENING to something while he was whistling... or if he was whistling to a beat or something. but no. it really is special or standard. i know i'm bitching about this, but a girl can only take so much whistling in a day. good thing anna hasn't let off her steam yet. and good thing i found something funny in the whole situation. name that tune? hahaha. only draide.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

stole this shit from kinche and tinababy.

name: diane flaviano
birthday: 6 november 83
birthplace: someplace in manila.
current location: third world phils.
eye color: green via contacts
hair color: squatter black
height: short. too short.
right handed or left handed: right.
your heritage: halohalo with a pinoy passport.
the shoes you wore today: pink havs.
your weakness: starbucks, shopping, handbags, google, friends, music.
your fears: loved ones dying in front of me.
your perfect pizza: hmm, bacon brocolli and cheese OR the great white from chef d'angelo.
goal you would like to achieve this year: becoming leyo or anna's 'manok' (asskisser!) OR getting a new job.
your most overused phrase on an instant messenger: OMG!
your bedtime: mga 3am-ish. i have insomnia.
your most missed memory: wednesday after school chilling in dhahran.
pepsi or coke: neither... i prefer sarsi.
mcdonalds or burger king: burger king
single or group dates: group.
lipton ice tea or nestea: lipton
chocolate or vanilla: if a drink then chocolate. if ice cream then i prefer vanilla.
cappuccino or coffee: cappucino.
do you smoke: not anymore.
do you swear: like ya.
do you sing: ya.
do you shower daily: ya.
have you been in love: ya.
do you want to go to college: done and missing it!
do you want to get married: someday. like eight years from now.
do you believe in yourself: duh.
do you get motion sickness: only in vehicles where the road's not smooth and the drivers aren't fucked up.
are you a health freak: haha, no.
do you like thunderstorms: only when i'm indoors and especially not when i'm on my way to work.
do you play an instrument: piano and a banduria a long long time ago.
in the past month have you drank alcohol: ya. bottoms up bitchezzz!
in the past month have you smoked: nope.
in the past month have you been on drugs: nope. drugs ain't my thing.
in the past month have you gone to a mall: i work next to one.
in the past month have you eaten a box of oreos: nope.
in the past month have you eaten sushi: ya.
in the past month have you been on stage: ya! hahaha. shit, how embarrassing.
in the past month have you been dumped: i'm single damnit. S-I-N-G-L-E!
number of drugs I have taken: ever? weed lang.
number of cds i own: around forty to fifty originals. then around fifteen gigs of pirated mp3s.
number of piercings: one in each ear. i'm afraid of needles.
number of tattoos: none. deathly afraid of needles.
number of things in my past i regret: complacency. dependency issues. procrastination.

in a guy...
favourite eye color: hmmm. something dark when indoors. like a dark brown/blue/green/gray.
favourite hair color: whatever, as long as they can pull it off.
short or long Hair: short. and slightly messy.
height: everyone's taller than me anyway. does this even matter?
weight: whatever goes.
best clothing style: clean. and not mukhang taong grasa.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

a friends parent's died a couple weeks back. yeah, parents. plural. so now she's an orphan. but that's ok cause her folks were old (and i mean, old!) and she's an adult and 'cause she herself is fine with it. i ended up thinking about what would happen to me if my folks died. *knock on wood* i'd move in with monch and budi i guess, or better yet, they move back in with me!

when your folks die and they have no standard will, what happens next? how do you tell lawyers and stockbrokers and banks that you're the sole beneficiary? like if they stored everything in a safe, how would you open that? if they had a swiss bank account amounting to the high hundred millions, how would you find out the account number? i doubt your folks would tell you the extent of their wealth anyway. parents rarely do that to their early-twenty-something kids anyway. at least, i dont know friends who know their families financials entirely. i guess peter would be an exception though. suddenly, you'd find out that your dad invested in this... or that your mom actually has some hidden property in her name. and as you go through the mess that your folks made by dying unprepared, you'd actually learn a lot more about them. at least jan has. hey jan, i'm glad you got things sorted out. lawyers are a bitch though.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

i caught snippets of PBB teen edition today. hey tinababy, you're friend gerald's gorgeous! i sooo wanna rape him. yech, cradle snatcher.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

last thing, piolo pascual is with rica peralejo? really? really?! isn't he like, gay? and toni gonzaga with sam milby? toni, you're a great girl and i really like you. just a piece of advice: don't go out with guys who wear more makeup and look more feminine than yourself.

5x5 - my music list

2006-04-23T00:22:00.000+08:00

twenty-five cd's on my 'most played' list. i was bored so i created a music list. so sue me.

Create your own Music List @ HotFreeLayouts!

testing

2006-04-21T12:21:00.000+08:00

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Shark

Animal You Were in a Past Life: Polar Bear

You have a strong character - you are an aggressive, ambitious, go-getter.
You were born to lead.

The Animal Personality Test

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.
You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.
You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.
Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test

Your Eyes Should Be Green

Your eyes reflect: Striking attractiveness and danger

What's hidden behind your eyes: A vivid inner world

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.
Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

Your Stripper Song Is

Super Freak by Rick James

"That girl is pretty wild now
The girl's a super freak
The kind of girl you read about
In new-wave magazine"

Freaky? Yes. But you're also pretty darn funny.

What Song Should You Strip To?

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.

Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic.

With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative.

In love, you seem energetic - almost manic.

In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.
One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...
And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.
Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with.

What's Your Blogging Personality?

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion.
Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu..
Your convictions are strong and unwavering.
You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle.
But you may be ready in a couple of years.
You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment.
And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Gaaah!

2006-04-18T12:19:00.000+08:00

So Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had a girl and named her Suri. I don't wanna link to that. But, duh, if you're interested (come on and admit you are.) then just go and Google them. But that's not the point of this entry.... I got the willies because Tom (yes, close kami.) supposedly said this:

"I’m gonna eat the placenta, too. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I’m going to eat the cord and the placenta right there.” But when a GQ magazine interviewer said it would be a big meal, Cruise replied: “OK, maybe I won’t."

Thinking about the bloody and freakin SILENT scientology birth is so... *shudder*. And now eat a fresh placenta? So, like, did he do it? Did he Katie?

I don't know how Brangelina frolic around the world, do photo-ops at Davos, fly mini-planes, raise an entire coloring book of kids, decide to have a Namibian baby with a Namibian name, and still look like they're fairly normal.

Crazy crazy Cruise, you rank up right there with Whacko Jacko. Nagpapaka bampira ka na naman. Sumipsip ka na lang ng gamit na tampon. Tsk tsk.

Whahaha! React react!

And yet I find another Cruise-worthy moment:

"He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for Katie to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams. In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery."

am i really?

2006-04-17T12:18:00.000+08:00

i don't think so, but this is what the survey says.

You Are 70% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

maria maria maria...

2006-04-17T12:17:00.000+08:00

no, i'm not referring to the west side story.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

ekai! i dedicate this site to you. maaliw ka, promise. swear to god. cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. check it! check it! unless of course you got into some vehicular funk during the course of your holy [driving] week-end.

for everyone else who's got nothing else to do... sige check the site out as well. it's harmless.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

happiness! after listening to Track 8 of Unknown Artist from Unknown Album for the past five months, I have finally found out what it's title (and artist! wipi!). hymne of era's second album! o ya, it's another chorale-ish song. hehehe. i'd so keel over and die if the chorale sang this for me *HINT HINT!* (like ya, as if.). but sige, asa pa ako. dust in the wind ung wish na un.

can anyone understand this? translate please... it's it latin i think. where are the southridge boys when you need them?

Itu alevetta
Ote tere carlustan
Prom tu ipevetas
Ete ibe taliustan
Icre tele palite
Etes sele contemis
Ifali tole soli tulives

Sen solia amentore Avi
Sen somaniti avore Ave
Sen sodiva amantire Senso
Doreri tati avore sensolia dore

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hmm... you ever noticed how whenever people post a pic of three women, they automatically title the shot as 'tres marias'. god, that's so annoying. like, how unoriginal can you get. nung mala-expat mode pa ako, i noticed that a lot of the female pinoys in the embassy school had the first name maria. sa IS kasi, hinde ganun eh. the only pinoy maria i knew was patricia, and she had a whole mouthful of names to back that maria up. the other maria was indian. (carvalho! how are you?)

running joke nga sa amin nila les na if and when we'd meet girls from the embassy school, we'd just holler 'maria!' the way the pakistani salesfolk'd call pinoys by 'bosing' or caucasians by 'joe!'. and we figured that all the girls would look our way. hahaha.

aside story: we had a soccer game once, and after the game chesen called her folks by their first names. it's easier to distinguish them that way, she said. can you imagine the confusion if she'd yelled out 'dad!'? armed with that precious piece of knowledge, my family went to this PTA meeting (PSD, 1996) and when it came time to leave, i couldn't find my dad so i kept calling 'carl!' out loud. the principal at the time, adrian's mom... dizon i think, called me to her office to have a 'talk' about my lack of respect for my folks. 'bakit hinde tatay ang tawag mo sa tatay mo?' in a really nasty tone. (naka tape recorder yan! i wanted proof in case i needed to sue her or something. IS practice in action! btw, first reply ko was 'what's a tatay?')

ya, like i understood you lady. sus. kaya ata nagkaissue ang dad ko sa PSD eh, kasi sinagot ko si dizon ng bastos daw. is it my problem if english has no equivalent to 'po' and 'opo'? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT 'PO' AND 'OPO' MEANT UNTIL SECOND QUARTER! grrrr.

gosh adrian, i HATE your mom. buti na lang you hate her too! just because i'm filipino doesn't mean i know a whole lot about being one. read this and tell her that ok? and wow, coincidence! dizon's first name is 'maria' too! nyahahaha. how apt.

why is it 'tres marias' anyway? can someone enlighten me? yoshi's as equally deprived as i when it comes to sibika (sp?). heck, i memorized key words during chapter tests and just base my answers on those. hahaha. mrs. rulloda would kill me. i don't think i'd ever forget that a globo is SO different from lobo, bilog or bola. sooo tagalog deprived, nakakaawa tuloy.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

currently: reading seaton's aunt. "I suppose to the Pyramids a decade is but as the rustling down of a handful of dust." creepy.

Magandang hapon!

2006-04-14T12:16:00.001+08:00

Gusto niyong tumawa? Basahin niyo ITO. Hahaha, laughtrip yan.

sorry sorry, hinde sha pang holy week tsaka sure na ipapadala na ako sa hell dahil jan... di ko nga alam kung pano ako napadpad jan eh. imagine mo, naglalagay ako ng green slime sa arms para hinde mashadong mahapdi ung sunburn ko, tapos biglang yan yung nabasa ko. bwahahaha!

which way to happy?

2006-04-14T12:16:00.000+08:00

tell me a joke and i will love you
pour me a drink and i'm yours

i was tagged by tinababy, pero hinde ko alam kung bat wala na sa site niya. labo men.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules: Write six strange habits/things about yourself. Tag six people, and each person has to tag six other people.

If I could afford it, I'd buy everything Goyard.
I download a lot of stuff, but I don't necessarily listen to them.
Organized religion fascinates me.
Fave fastfood ko ang Wendy's.
I only get depressed/suicidal on weekdays, 8am-530pm.
It takes me around seven hours to watch a DVD - even longer if it's a sad one.

I tag angelbagel, mommy beni, buddyHOPE, sexy eks, mang tenor vince, and kim ni chito.

eternity comes with sadness

2006-04-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

behind my house is a shabbily built christian church. evangelists came and took over the old community health center and turned it into an vegas-like showroom. neon signs and blinking christmas lights frame "Christ Who Save These Who Believing In His Book". typos included. sometimes i just wanna spray paint a huge SIC on the sign. it's so bad it's hilarious.

on weekday mornings, the church band practices covers of alternative slash pseudo-metal bands like slipknot and metallica. sometimes they hold ukay-ukay sales. on weeknights, it turns into a videoke-slash-free for all booze bar.

pastor = bartender.

if we had an exchange of hearts
then you'd why i fell apart
you'd feel the pain
when the memory starts
if we had an exchange of hearts

the most eye-popping moments i had happened a couple months back. i'd passed the gate on my way home and i saw people setting up a laptop. one look at the projection showed "My First Sex Teacher - Jodie Marsh". i actually stopped and stared, just to make sure my eyes weren't fucking up on me. some man looked up and saw me staring, so he closed the gate off. but yeah, that was a porn flick. the moaning and groaning sounds that carried over to my room told me so. (update: a current check in limewire assures me that there is such a movie existing. 280.3mb mpeg format on a cable/dsl connection.)

tonight they're singing karaoke again. i can't help but sing along.

cheesy mush music trickles down to where i sit. bad vocals and even worse lyrics grind my ears. here i am, patiently downloading tracks from the jungle book. a whole bunch of songs from children of bodom queued right before more songs from toy story one and two.

i dont wanna hear that song again
from the night we first met
i dont wanna hear you whispering
things i'd rather forget
i don't wanna look into your eyes
cause you know what happens next
we'll be making love and then
i'll fall over again.

master j 'batas ng logistics' didn't get to buy my camera. i don't know whether thats a good or bad thing. i read a couple more reviews on the w30 and found out that there are no manual settings. not even white balance.

i'm now thinking between a a620 and a p200. the a620's a little too bulky though. not the kind i'd whip out of my bag and snap pics with. the p200's lens is off to one side, which makes taking single-handed pics more prone to hand-shake. i know i'm not as pasmado as my boys, but if ken gets awful shots with his a6, what more with me on a lopsided lens camera?

i'd get the a610 but my entire barkada has that cam, and i don't wanna be another a610-er. (with the jansport campack, wearing my hp jacket on top of my acn shirt... SHIT! look ma, TWINS!)

couldn't there just be one 5mp sub-compact camera with 4x optical zoom that can take at least 300 pictures on a single battery recharge with options for manual settings that costs less than 25k?

i know i'm just buying the cam to settle my camwhoreness, but i think i'd really turn into some sort of enthusiast. daddy likes the s80, but it's freaking ugly (yes, this is the girl who wanted the w30 just because it came in an aqua color.) and it's a major financial setback. 35k-freaking-k! and no, i don't want an SLR. it's so huge, i'd feel like i'd be lugging weights around.

all of the nights you came to me
when some silly girl had set you free
you wondered how you'd make it through
i wondered what was wrong with you
cause how could you give your love to someone else
and share your dreams with me
sometimes the very thing you're looking for
is the one thing you can't see

yoshi and i are talking. he finally has internet again. i thank the gods for internet and googletalk. and citibank for providing me with the free dsl. i'm sick of karaoke music. let's listen to the rockafellas instead.

i'm back to the old dilemna. digicam or ipod? damnit, digicam or ipod?! i'm so sick of playing in between decisions. fine, i chose the digicam, but i can't find the ONE SINGLE DIGICAM i want! if i get an ipod, should i get the 30gig or the 60gig? the difference is just a benjamin after all.

ooor, should i shun mac-mania and get an archos gmini (the ultimate bang for your buck) or a zen vision (radio! and pink! or blue!) or an iAudio x5L (35 hour battery life. san ka pa?) instead? initially i was really jazzed about the mobiblu as well, but i'd think anything that small (less than an inch cubed) is bound to get lost.

and where the fuck is hidalgo? the first time jeff told me to look for a digicam there, i thought he was referring to the condo in rockwell.

auuuuuuurgh, and i just got this mail from larry. zv34! damned release.

i'm tired and i'm sick of not knowing what to buy. i'm sick of hearing cheesy love songs from my dubious neighborhood church. i'm sick of typing.

goodnight.

did you miss me?

2006-04-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

sorry blog at nagbakasyon ako. kelangan kasi eh. support for a friend yan. tsaka, masaya kasi andun ung mga major players. tsaka hello, libre. magic words un. san ka pa diba? libreng bakasyon?! shet mo larry, walang paki sa objects at ako'y magpapaka-ilonggo for the next couple days. tagal ko na di nakauwi sa iloilo eh. last time ung after ng college grad, so mejo two years na rin un.

my iloilo-bora ten:
10. oversalted water... walang effort mag float, sobrang effort sumisid
09. three words: ted, ass, sand.
08. no cameras when swimming... walang taga picture eh.
07. shameless boys. sorry, hanggang ngayon mejo di pa rin ako sanay.
06. eros erotica --> i have BONE enough.
05. seaweed vs. jellyfish
04. Sir Johann
03. Jaaah-roe like moments.
02. lampang, inuuhaw, inaantok at naiihing Pedro
01. an endless car ride, sleep infestation complete with motion sickness

and the mostpinakauberbestestnessiest:
GARGLING VOMIT SOUNDS WHEN THE PLANE IS LANDING.

thanks eks for teaching ken and i how to make ourselves aliw for the forty minutes you were in the banyo, for the gassy car ride with dennis and 'bianca', and for generally getting peter to move away from the bed. thanks ted for being with me in most of my pics, for loving the sand, and for not making major drama in bora. thanks aff for the gazillion shots of me in my most embarrassing, for being my tungkod in the deeper water, and for fishing the seaweed away from me (and onto ted). thanks tita terry for showing us ate adette's room and making eks wonder how to stuff hers with pigs as well. thanks herrick and drew for lending us your wonderful nautical themed room to sleep in. thanks taj for providing us freezing rooms with blocked shower drains and amazing window views of cement walls. thanks kuya saudi for the cheap tattoos, overpriced boat ride rate and the confusion with aff being ilonggo. thanks kuya rommel for being at sir johann's beck and call, driving crazy thus causing several near-upchuck moments. thanks xuj for not getting tired, playing wallet, spreading the green, and making chitchat sa car about family issues... i can so relate. thanks tito peter and tita caroline for making us feel so welcome, and for making us super asikaso. most of all, thanks to peter/johann/papa/jomols, who invited us to come and have fun even though he wasn't always up for it. you are the greatest ex-husband ever. i wish you could come back here and we'd have things the way they used to be. ingat ingat lang dear.

major shoutouts to our primary sponsors as well: to kia motors, isuzu iloilo, zagu, ice monster, and the mandarin in boracay. hehehe.

to the disbanded kahitsaan, sana mag vacay tayo ulet. i wanna make more crazy memories with you guys. sana in the future, less of MY craziness naman. gosh, i'm too entertaining na ata. hehehe... sige, i love you all, and good night.

a bunch of iloilo/bora pictures

2006-04-10T10:37:00.000+08:00

kahitsaan in boracay and iloilo 2006!

thanks peter! we loves you and we means it!

affie yap, ekai vicente, diane flaviano, ken rafanan and teddy dullano
waiting in iloilo: peter po

diane flaviano and teddy dullano. diane with motion sickness and lack of sleep. teddy pretending to be asleep to get a 'good' shot.

me and my barkada at the iloilo tarmac. only four more hours to boracay!

damnit, we lack sleep. (ekai vicente, ken rafanan, diane flaviano, affie yap)

teodoro dullano and diana flaviano. hehe. how formal.

ekai's cut off!

teodoro dullano and diane flaviano, still waiting for the ferry in caticlan. with an exhausted ken in the background.

crazy ass shades!

diane flaviano gets a henna tattoo. hehehe. no it's not a 69 damnit. they're DANCERS damnit.

diane flaviano prissing around while ken rafanan and affie yap withdraw money from metrobank. i remember several popsicles consumed here by ekai.

a shadowed image of diane flaviano and ken rafanan. we're pretending we got tans already. hahaha.

teddy dullano, early morning beached whale moments.

his breasts are off center.

teddy's face, diane's hand and ken's feet.

waiting for the speedboat to take them to the parasail station. teddy, ekai, diane, ken.

ekai vicente's back. teddy dullano, diane flaviano and ken rafanan squinting against the sunlight.

ekai and teddy take the first flight.

this time ken and diane go parasailing.

boracay sand castles. made daily and photographed only after a substantial donation.

i cant imagine how come i didnt rotate this picture. this is ken's feet, btw.

ken rafanan as glindo in the wicked warlock juice skin of station two.

bench 2006 scenic shots.

affie yap and teddy dullano. bench 2006. aren't they just gorgeous?

martial arts wannabes. a serious ken rafanan and a wacky affie yap.

beautiful boracay dusk.

diane and her fave boys: ken and ted.

ken rafanan and diane flaviano. ken's wearing diane's shades. hehehe.

peter po, ekai vicente, and diane flaviano. while waiting for the driver to arrive on the ferry terminal. he was damned late.

diane flaviano and affie yap.

kahitsaan and the po's.

peter po and ekai vicente. peter was our sponsor. ekai is his mistress. i am the ex-wife. hahaha.

weirded out at blue jays.

for more pictures, go to http://dysphasic.multiply.com/photos

people envy me...

2006-04-03T11:15:00.001+08:00

... like ya, i wish.

People Envy Your Confidence

You have the attitude and self esteem to take on anything. Failure is beyond not an option for you - it doesn't even cross your mind.

People envy your ability to take on any challenge ... and they're secretly afraid you think you're better than them. You don't. You're just sure of yourself.

Take this test here

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

What the hell is wrong with Multiply? I haven't been getting my mails for the past three days. I don't want to have to go to the the .com everytime I want to read someone's comment or whatever... That's why I changed my settings so I could get it in Gmail! Multiply people, read this and fix this error! Grabe, production stop ito ha...

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

I am also currently in 'hate' with a whole bunch of people from Ebay Phils. It's so damned annoying kasi you make an effort to look for products that you want to buy... effort to log-in and click on the link and bid for something... Tapos they cancel your bid kasi you don't have 'financial history' with Ebay.

They write stuff like you're supposed to text and email pa raw and all that crazy shit. So ayun nga, effort ulet to email and text.

I'm like, "hi, ths s diane.i saw s ebay na u dint acpt my bid kc 1st tym bidder ako.is the avail. p b? i rily wnt it ksi.super thnx."

The seller replies "oo, its avail. pa."

Then after a while he/she/it/they replies again, "bkt ayaw mo pang magbid? :)".

So stupid old me bids. I click the bid thingy. The price increments by ten bucks. Seconds after I place my bid, the refreshed screen shows a me the message "You have been outbid by another bidder."

Wow ha. Not just any amount... by fifty bucks! The price is still within my limit so I bid again... Right after placindg the bid, I get the same screen. But damnit, I really want those products kasi (yep, they're Hav's if you must know. not available in any store... so fuck the price, i really really want them.) so I increment another ten bucks and re-bid. Still, the same screen shows up.

I'm starting to think na ginagago ako ng reseller. I mean, how hard is it to have two accounts and one-up a serious buyer bid diba? It's a typical auction scam.

It reached a thousand bucks. I didn't think it was worth it na. Jeez, dapat nga mura kapag Ebay diba? It's not like these people are paying rent eh. Hinde rin naman sila ung nagiimport ng Havs sa Pinas. I'd rather wait na lang until the same model is sold na in authorized Havs resellers.

Gising, Tol.

2006-04-03T11:15:00.000+08:00

*** forward lang po.

Tumatanda ka na, tol. (No freaking way, Jose!)

Nasa Friday Magic Madness na yung mga paborito mong kanta. Nakaka-relate ka na sa Classic MTV. Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong child star dati. (Wow ha… sa sobrang kabaklaan na ni Rustom, naging tibo na sha?) Nanay na lagi ang role ng crush na crush mong matinee idol noon.

Dati, pag may panot, sisigaw ka agad ng "PENDONG!". (Sino un?) Ngayon, pag may sumisigaw nun, ikaw na yung napapraning. Parang botika na ang cabinet mo. May multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly, tsaka ginko biloba.

Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta, inihaw na liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa. Ngayon, nagkukumpulan na lang kayo ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at oorder ng tea. (Hinde tea, affogato.)

Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon. (JOKETIME KA! HINDE AKO PAPAYAG!)

Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen (dorm), napalitan na ng walang katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kumpanya ninyo. Wala na ang best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may problema ka. (Chris/Xuj! Wala ka na raw?! Dear, ung mga pfsst ha. Don’t forget. At yung cooling, at ung oil.) Ang lagi mo na lang kausap ngayon e ang kaopisina (Chason! Ona! Mac! Kiko! Shaun! Mish!) mong hindi ka sigurado kung binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka. (Di naman kayo mga laglagero diba?) Ang hirap nang magtiwala.

Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan. (Always has been naman eh.) Hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina. Kung sabagay, nagkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng pera at umakyat sa tinatawag nilang "corporate ladder". Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi talaga totoong pagkakaibigan. (Nyeeeer.)

Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa. (HALA!)

Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo. (Gotta earn to live kasi eh.)

Alipin ka na ng Meralco, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun. Alipin ka ng Midnight Madness. (Mega 3day Sale!) Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway. Alipin ka ng credit card mo. Alipin ka ng ATM. Alipin ka ng BIR.

Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton. (No. I hate instant noodles.) Ngayon, dapat may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucine alfredo mo. (No rin, di ko trip ang white sauce.) Masaya ka na noon pag nakakapag-ober-da-bakod kayo para makapagswimming. (Sa Pasig River?! Whahaha!) Ngayon, ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang lugar. Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin pomelo. Ngayon, pagkatapos ng ilang bote ng red wine, maghahanap ka ng San Mig Light o Vodka Cruiser.

Wala ka nang magawa. Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo. Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas ang sweldo mo. (Kasi kahit ‘tumaas’ ung sweldo ko, it’s not enough pa rin to support myself.) Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong hindi mo kailangan, abot-kamay mo na. Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin makuntento.

Saan ka ba papunta?

Tol, gumising ka. Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang sa mga baterya ng mga machines sa Matrix. Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung bakit nilagay ka rito. Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang hanggang maging singkwenta anyos ka na, magsisisi ka. Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga bagay na nagpasaya sa yo. Balikan mo sila.

Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

don't botch it up, diane

2006-03-29T11:11:00.000+08:00

so nag interview na ako kanina. after the interview, mejo feel good mode naman ako. actually, para kasi sakin, hinde sha interview, parang oral questionnaire lang. ung parang... shet, hinde ko ma explain. *makes a horizontal ladder motion* gets? oo, un. un na un.

i have to admit, i didn't know a lot of what he was talking about. for one thing, dahil kahit in-theory alam ko ung mga pinagtatanong niya, i don't wanna say 'yes' to his questions kasi hinde ko ma-eexplain in detail dahil usually counterparts or clients lang ung may access sa ganung mga systems/tasks.

simpleng abaper lang po ako... bitin pa nga knowledge ko eh. wala akong mga alam sa process ng basis or how networks relate to files, european banking hours, industry takeovers, C#, or if god makes it rain in uranus.

tapos it seemed naman na he wasn't expecting me to answer naman. if i said yes to his questions, dun lang sha mag aask ng details. tapos usually, tama naman ung gist ng mga pinagsasabi ko sa kanya. kasi all he was doing naman talaga was trying to find out what i knew, and frankly, i'd say not enough.

so i kept on feeling good... until nakausap ko si raymond.

ngayon, depressed na ako. waaaah. why me god?

sabi ni ken na pasok daw ako. but then you know how friends are. of course sasabihin niyang pasok ako. heck, he'll probably even tell me that i can fly. sabi ni mr. whatshisface, na 'it's out of my hands' and HR daw bahala kung kukunin nila ako or hinde. ya right yo!

gusto kong mapasa eh. kung hinde sa job mismo, at least para naman sa ego.

feed my ego!

motivate me!

CHANGE TOPIIIIIIIIIIIIC...

kulang pa sa Dar at Mac.

28th of March, 1999

2006-03-28T11:09:00.000+08:00

i found my old high school chemistry notebook with a sheet of paper written with this inside. i was at a party in some house in paranaque. i had gone with triggs. it was the first time i'd met julie.

who'd have thought seven years later, i'd be friends with julie and not see triggs anymore? it looks like they've switched personalities since then. college does that to you, i guess. lesson learned: people change.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

she's in that state between sleep and not. sort of like the walking dead. maybe in a lost reality, where things seem to happen in a slower fashion. enhanced more by the pills she took earlier.

cig in hand, lighter in the other, she struck a conversation with the man on her left.

"you got a light?"

"umm. yeah."

he's looking at her zippo wondering why she's even asking in the first place.

"this thing has no fluid", she says. she shakes it in front of him as proof.

he nods understanding, remembering fully well that she'd lighted the first one on her own. that she'd played with the zippo several times on the course of her puff.

he was raised well, his mama had seen to that. he offered her the use of his light.

"thanks ha."

"don't mention it."

he doesn't like her. in his mind, she's tacky. classless. bougeois. white trash. no. she's brown trash. mestiza trash.

i'm being an elitist, he thinks. resolving to push her out, he recalls more important things at hand. his red horse is waiting for him inside.

Oy Vey!

2006-03-22T10:45:00.000+08:00

Ang mga kakosang jologs at ako'y pumunta sa Baguio nung weekend. Left on Friday night, came back on Sunday night.

Mga players ay si Mommy Beni Clickthecity, si sub-Daddy Dar, sub-Daddy Doy a.k.a. Tourister, si sub-Daddy 'Macho Papa' Chase, si Mishy, si Kiko, si BrokeMac, si Macs a.k.a. Kristine a.k.a. Ana, si Rhene na Art, at ang mga may sariling mundo na si Kuya Ed at Juvylicious. Kasama rin si Mrs. Doyboy 'Baby Lyza' Blue, at si cutie Cousin Denise. Let's not forget FX Drivers, Manong One a.k.a. Bosing, Pare at Kuya, and Manong Driver Two also known as Bosing, Pare at Kuya.

Recurring theme was BROKEBACK BAGUIO starring Dario Guerrero as Jack Twist, Mac Brian Mann as Ennis Del Mar, Michelle Abogado as Princess Mia-whatsherface, and all the other boys as Jack's Mexican gig-wannabes. Ask me na lang personally why, kasi mejo jahe to explain it here. Hahaha, kasi alam kong mababasa ito ng 'ibang' startgroupmates ko.

We stayed at the wonderfully haunted Teacher's Camp... Ang daya, sa mahal ng binayad namin sa unit, wala man lang kasamang ghost. May 'service charge' pa! Para sa ano? Sa maruruming sheets?

Pero masaya pa rin shempre. The pictures pretty much say it all, so check it out there na lang. Actually, marami pa akong pics na kelangan i-upload, kaso ubos ko na ung alloted na 400 pics ko for March. Wag mag-alala fellow ka-jologs, malapit na naman ang April eh.

Sa mga ibang ka startgroup na hinde sumama sa Baguio, sama na kayo sa Bolinao! RJ! Raph! Ian! Steve! Dorae! Jim! Walter! Raymond! Shaun! Brian! Chona! Rico! Vanz! Etc etc. Shux, may nakalimutan pa ba ako?

Sa lahat ng pics sa ating trip, ang Blue Vs. Red (shown below) yung pinaka fave ko. Sorry Kristine, next time uupload ko lahat, promise.

and since this is blogger, and not multiply... here are some more photos. hehehe.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Can I just complain? Nawalan ako ng access sa Lonestar. Kahapon ng umaga, SAP ko lang at yung email. Nung hapon, nawala naman yung sa Lotus Notes. Tapos kanina, naayos na yung email ko (salamat Steve sa test data at screenshots!) pero wala pa ring SAP at Notes. Takte! Ang badtrip diba? At least may VPN pa ako.

Larry 'Heh-Loooow' Holden! Basahin mo blog ko, ipatranslate mo kay Geoff, Draide or Master J, tapos ayusin mo na yung access ko! Grrrr. Pam Gray at Jim Vann, galit ako sa inyo.

cliffnotes version

2006-03-16T02:10:00.000+08:00

01. we're going to iloilo/boracay! we're gonna see peter! we got the cheap plane tickets! WE'RE BEING FREELOADED! YAYNESS! don't you just love filthy rich ex-husbands?

02. we're going to baguio! i dunno why, 'cause chase and i would rather go to the beach and catch those elusive rays... but still, gotta buy my cheap-o 'killing' plants for the boys and chocolates with extra pizzaz for ona and milo.

03. this is actually something from last week but i didn't get to mention it at all. well, thanks mac for telling me the 'truth' about something that happened nearly two years ago. it's all enlightening, and i realize that she really was... you know.... but he always denied it. i guess he was the liar, not her. but in my mind, she still is a shitty bitch. and well, apparently he ain't the friend i thought he was. but that's all in the past now. sayang lang diba?

04. i have to shop for a ton of stuff related to #1. eks! let's set up a time next week, okidokie?

05. i dreamed about the guy who's head was flattened in ayala at the back of 6750. so chris/xuj is moving to that building right? well, in my dream, lonestar was still there as well. as i walked to work, and at the point when i was crossing the street, chris/xuj got off a jeep, tripped, fell and his head was run over by a freakin' bus. just like the guy in the photos. gosh, i ain't gonna enjoy that guy's demise anymore. imagining chris/xuj on that pavement is SO DAMNED FREAKY! no, never him. of all people not him. lord, kunin mo na lang yung crazy trike driver kanina... wag lang si xuj. waaaaaah.

06. si mommy aeL andito sa manila. i haven't even met her yet. damn. i thought i was going to see her yesterday that's why i got 'dressed' up like a trussed chicken and all. sayang. all that effort for nothing.

07. digicam mo chris/xuj! kelan na?
08. ara, musta periodicals mo dear?

09. back to the bora issue. sad, hinde kasama ang "package deal ng couple-of" namin. bitin ang barkada! and jochu pa! waaaaaaaaaaah.

10. i'm not sure about larry's FYI. based on my understanding, it meant that I don't have to continue the 0.006 issue because they're supposed to assign it to a new SIR. does that mean that my rounding issue is finished? yipee! tama ba ako milo?

11. congrats to TED for getting SAP ABAP CERTIFIED! i'm sooooo damned proud of you babe! imagine, programmer for reals ka na?! IKAW? shocking!

12. congrats din to PAM for quitting! gosh, i'm sooo jelly of you! sana ako rin pwede mag quit, pero kakaibang klase kasi yung bond ko eh. i hope you get an awesome job!

13. and you guys HAVE HAVE HAVE to read karl's latest blog entry. it's music for my eyes. i LOVES it! karl, sobra i swear, let's get married and have twin labradors. if i eat your brain, will i become as talented as you?

reminders to self:
a. debenhams. tama ba? ayun, basta yung brown.
b. glasses damnit.
c. pfssst pfssst, the oil thing, and oil-free moisturizer with SPF
d. talk to gerick about the cam. A610. beg for discount. on your knees.
e. lovely, by sarah jessica parker
f. check the mag for other reminders
g. the sunburn thing. is that expensive ba?
h. 6k ata. confirm with tristan. only pay in full.

reaction lang!

2006-03-09T03:11:00.000+08:00

grabe ha! para lang mag pa check up eh 450 na? ay mali, 'emergency room fee' pala ung tawag dun. eh hello, kukuha lang sana po ako ng medical certificate. it's not like i wanna diagnose kung kaninong person ko nakuha ung flu virus no. i already KNOW kung kanino. and for your information dr. galvez, katabi ko sha nung saturday class ko bago kami nag meet up nila ken sa powerbooks. sha ung nasa mat ko sa right. grrr.

tapos, pina CBC pa ako. and yes, kelangan talaga yung mala-blood donation type needle sha ha.

sabi ko pa, "dude, pwede ung parang prick lang sa finger?". (halatang takot sa needles.)

sagot ni gago, "ay ma'am, kelangan ho ganito para mas accurate ung results."

"results para sa what?" tanong ko. (malay niyo ba, di ko pala kelangan to.)

"para po malaman kung yung cause ng fever ay virus po or bacteria...", sabi nung guy na naka scrub suit. sabay tusok ng needle. tangina, ang sakit. tapos feel na feel mo talaga ung pag outpour ng blood. no joke. alam mo un, parang kung minsan ivavaccine ka, tapos nafefeel mo ung vaccine na pumapasok sa katawan mo? minsan mahapdi pa? parang ganun un, except pabaliktad. oh sige, ten seconds lang sha, pero kung nakatitig ka rin sa syringe at nakikita mong tumataas ng tumataas yung dugo mo dun sa meter thingy, feeling ko parang nawawalan ako ng buhay.

pero ang tanong dun is, ba't ko pa kelangan magpaCBC? eh alam ko nga na flu yan diba? at ang flu ay symptom ng URTI? at and URTI ay usually caused ng virus diba? HELLO?! annual disease ko yan noh? kailangan pa bang i-memorize yan?

377 pesos pa naman magpaCBC. ang mahal, grabe.

mejo last minute na rin kasi ako kumuha ng medical certificate. feeling ko kasi ok na ako (although the thermometer screams to my face that i'm not.). dahil walang doctor dun sa hospital sa tabi tabi namin (imagine that? emergency room tapos walang doctor?!), kelangan pumunta pa dun sa isa pang hospital. eh di ko dala ung maxicare kasi di un tinatanggap sa first hospital eh. tsaka, hihingi lang naman ako ng proof galing sa doctor na putek, may flu nga ako. how hard can that be diba? ano pa ba kelangan nila? na i-picture ko ung thermometer at i-staple ko kasama ng ARTES ko?

so sige, first time ko rin pumunta din sa polymedic. aba, iso 9000 certified sila. blue ung scrubs nila at maraming mga interns na doctor and nurses dun. feeling ko lang talaga they're trying to make as much money off you as possible. eh umuubo ako (isa pang symptom ng progression ng URTI) tapos mejo nagkakacolds na, so sabi ng doctor, "baka asthma yung cause niyan. gusto mo ipa xray natin?". hell no! magkano kaya aabutin nun kung nagpa xray ako? dalawang libo? alam ko na rin po na asthmatic ako. no need to have me xrayed prove what's already fact.

meron ring matronic na pumasok sa emergency room. akala ko binugbog sha or something. sobrang pasa-in ung legs nya. parang hinampas ng mga tubo. tapos mejo faint sha. yun pala diabetic sha. after ten minutes, na diagnose na gutom lang ung reason kung bat sha faint. the cost of determining that? 1,428 pesos. for the emergency fee, a shot of insulin, and oxygen. sobrang, i can't believe it. i coud've determined the same results with a bottle of coke outside. all for the price of 5 bucks.

nikwento ko to kaagad kay kuya ray, you know, yung doctor ko dun sa st. lukes. dapat kasi sa kanya ako kukuha ng med cert, pero nasa cebu sha ngayon eh. sabi niya sakin, ang mga standard fee daw ganun or even higher. aba malay ko noh. eh kay ray, comp-ed lahat ng fees ko kasi loves niya ako at marami pa rin shang utang-na-loob kina eric at ryan.

ngayon ko lang talaga na gets ung commercial ng clusivol.

totoo yun, sa presyo ng hospitals these days, putek, bawal magkasakit.

mon. tues. wed.

2006-03-08T17:31:00.000+08:00

on monday, i woke up feeling like i wanted to die. it was around four in the morning. everything was pitch black. the only thing illuminating my room were the lights on the CPU blinking, letting me know that my downloads were still on the go. i puked my guts out. everything had to go. crapped everything my ribcage protected. even my brains were sucked out of my throat. everything just threatened to spill.

it reminded me of sembreak '98, when i got food poisoning in gensan. but that was ok, it happened a couple hours after dinner. this was just plain weird. at four am? what the hell happened for me to get that sick nearly eight hours after my last meal? did i eat something bad in my dream?

and what is it with people calling my phone and then hanging up after the first ring? i swear, it's happened like a million times today. grrr.

omg victor basa, you are sooo to die for...

so anyway, back to the first thought, before all these people started popping me sites to visit. so i'm not really surprised i got the flu. every spring, ever since second grade, i've gotten the flu. in high school, it would strike right before tests. i didn't get to go camping because of it. i ended up spreading it to jackie's family during the freshman sleepover. in college naman, it struck during weekends, usually starting on a thursday or friday. last year, i also got the flu, but i was supply back then and pat didn't really care if i came to work on time or not. so last year, i came in late and left early, and slept in my cube in between CBT's.

what's unique when i get sick is that during daylight it seems to go away. one the sun starts to set, all the aches and pains come back. i start getting chilled, even in über hot weather. last night i slept with full alaska gear on, and no airconditiong to back it up. then around ten-ish, i woke up feeling like everything in the world is allright. that's the way it is, that's the way it'll always be.

what pisses me off about getting sick this way is to prove that i am sick in the first place. in my case, it's always best to visit the doctor at night, when my temperature teeters around forty to forty-one. friggin' human boiling point if you ask me.

four jobs i have had in my life:
1. abap-per
2. vet tech
3. microsoft db slave
4. farmer girl

so i'm still sick right? what to do to pass time when you're sick aside from flipping stations and downloading half a hard drive's worth of songs? watch dvd's of course. i watched brokeback mountain again, this time with a more open mind.

"Tell you what, the truth is sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."

hay, kilig... now if it could just stick to my imagination that it's Bubbleboy/Jarhead and me or Knight's Tale and me instead of me watching them both. with each other. with untanned bodies and rough sex. ewww.

and just to keep Bubbleboy going, i watched Jarhead again. then i downloaded all these episodes of grays anatomy... now i've got to find time to watch those as well.

i'm going to the doctor tonight to get my medical certificate shit for work. maybe i can go back to work tomorrow? i dunno yet. but i already feel my eyes start to heat up and water. day four of fever nights is about to begin...

grabe, walang sense ung entry na 'to.

that's funny.

2006-03-01T14:53:00.000+08:00

enough talk about gloria, coups, iraq, wwe, pbb and other AM radio shit.

i was promoted yesterday.

i lost the 'junior' part of my position title. so now i'm just a regular slave.

no, don't congratulate me. the promotion was a industry tactic of the company. there were six hundred and eighty two of us who were promoted for chrissakes. the company needed to leverage itself against competitors and since a whole lot of its slaves had the prefix of 'junior', it kinda looked bad for potential clients. ergo, bad for shareholders. ergo, bad for the big bosses.

the additional pay is crap. if you total it all, it's still not enough to buy those shoes i've been eyeing at the mall. but enough about that too.

it's just funny how yesterday - nearly directly after i finally got to see my salary letter - some person called and asked for me. i wasn't there so ona took a message.

"call her daw", ona said. "ayan yung number niya oh."

so call her i did.

"hi", she said.

"we're interested in your background", she said.

"are you open to new places of employment?", she said.

"can you send me your resume before lunch tomorrow?", she said.

pirates move once again. this time, it's local. it's a reputable company and fuck yeah, it's not a part of that extremely long nda list. my resume was sent at 11:58 this morning.

wish me luck.

saan kaya niya nakuha yung number ko noh? eh direct extension pa talaga yung tinawagan niya. hmmm....

Emergency Rules

2006-02-28T13:41:00.000+08:00

As plagiarized from Time Asia. Visit the exact site here.

Isip ko lang... If plans like this were made beforehand, and knowing that this is politics, then Gloria was right to have called a state of emergency. Shempre, kasi kung hinde, eh di natuloy yung EDSA thing tapos lalong nagkagulo yung gobyerno. Issues like this are only entertaining for Pinoy's when you're overseas - kung andito ka sa Pinas, tangina, nakakainis lang. Hay nako, sa tingin ko talaga US may pakana nito lahat. Hinde ko alam kung bakit, pero sa lahat ng problema sa mundo, palagi naman Amerikano yung may pakana eh. Kung next week wala na ako dito... well, alam niyo na kung bakit.

Sunday, Feb. 26, 2006
Emergency Rules
Philippines President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo declares a state of emergency and rounds up alleged coup plotters. But amid calls for her resignation, can Arroyo stay in control?
When ordinary Filipinos took to the streets in 1986 to overthrow dictator Ferdinand Marcos, they transformed their nation into perhaps the freest in Asia. But last weekend, on the 20th anniversary of the People Power revolution, Filipinos found themselves once again living under the chill of emergency rule. Capping a tense week of coup rumors, Philippines President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo proclaimed a state of national emergency on Friday morning, announcing in a taped message on television that she had crushed an attempt by prominent military officers to overthrow her government. Arroyo appealed for calm, even as security forces were put on "double red alert" at the presidential palace, at army bases and on the streets of Manila. Earlier that morning, the army had detained Brigadier-General Danilo Lim, commander of the military's élite Scout Rangers, for allegedly planning to lead soldiers in a military-civilian coup against the government. Presidential Chief of Staff Michael Defensor told reporters that up to 10 military and civilian figures were being sought in connection with the plot, while administration sources say the military and police have compiled two separate lists of people to be arrested, with some 200 civilians included.

Few official details have been released about the nature of the alleged coup, but on Thursday night a TIME reporter was invited to witness a meeting held at the home of Jose Cojuangco, brother of former Philippine President Corazon Aquino, where a possible plan for a "withdrawal of support" from President Arroyo was being discussed. More than a dozen middle-level politicians and businessmen, including current Representative Robert Jaworski, Jr. and former Representative Ding Tanjuatco, were in and out of the meeting, which ran well past 1 a.m. While one of Cojuangco's daughters kept a buffet table piled high with chicken sandwiches, macaroni salad, corn and cookies, Pastor Saycon, a businessman and longtime Arroyo critic, discussed a new government. As the others listened, Saycon spoke over the phone to a person he identified as an American official in Washington, assuring him that the post-coup regime would remain on good terms with the U.S. "You will still be our friend," he said. Then, around 9 p.m., Saycon phoned a man whom he addressed as "Delta" and identified as General Lim. On speakerphone, Lim confirmed that he was set for the planned movement against Arroyo. According to Saycon, a military contingent was to march on Friday morning to Manila's EDSA Shrine commemorating the first People Power revolution, where the 20th anniversary celebrations were to take place. At the shrine they would be met by a contingent of Catholic bishops, and a Marine general would read a statement withdrawing support from Arroyo's government. The bishops, according to Saycon, had one request: that the action be bloodless.
General Lim, however, was detained by the army early on Friday morning, and the plan appears to have been aborted for the moment. (Several papers reported on Saturday that Lim had contacted armed-forces Chief of Staff General Generoso Senga on Thursday night to ask that he withdraw support from Arroyo. Senga refused, and took Lim into custody.) Cojuangco spoke to TIME on Saturday and characterized the meeting at his home as a "briefing on the current crisis," rather than an active plot against the government. As of Sunday morning, none of those present at the meeting had been detained or questioned.
Meanwhile, defying a ban on street rallies and occasionally scuffling with riot police, thousands of protesters marched to the EDSA Shrine Friday afternoon. One group of 5,000 was led by former President Aquino, who called on Arroyo to "make the supreme sacrifice" and resign. That's unlikely—Arroyo has told Time in the past that "nothing" would make her resign. But a real risk exists that in declaring emergency rule on the eve of the People Power anniversary, the President may have overplayed her hand and given her fractured opposition a unifying cause. "It could result in more political hemorrhage and security risk," says Representative Rolio Golez, formerly Arroyo's national-security adviser. Former President Fidel Ramos, whose support helped save Arroyo's presidency during a crisis last July, told reporters on Saturday he was "appalled and dismayed" by the declaration of emergency rule. Though he stopped short of calling for her resignation, as Aquino did, Ramos said his support for Arroyo was waning. "She's fond of using people. I don't want to be used as a prop anymore."
Unfazed by the outcry, the government appears ready to act aggressively: on Saturday police raided the offices of an opposition newspaper, and several Arroyo critics, including leftist Congressman Crispin Beltran, were reportedly detained for questioning. But the real hinge remains the military—Arroyo cannot remain in power without their support. Though top army leaders have repeatedly pledged their allegiance to Arroyo's administration, 14 junior officers were briefly detained last Wednesday for alleged involvement in a separate coup plot, and rumors of unrest among the armed forces have become common. In her televised address on Friday, Arroyo assured the nation: "As commander in chief, I control the situation." That remains to be seen.
—Reported by Nelly Sindayen

rantings of a annoyed Philippines Co. shareholder

2006-02-25T12:50:00.000+08:00

The US Federal government wants Google to turn over all porn searches in order to prosecute criminal charges.

Gino, you perv, magtago ka na.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's hard to be in areas in the middle of nowhere when major headlines are taking place in others. I realized that yesterday and once again cursed the head honchos of my company for making us move to this secluded area. We might as well be in the Himayalas for all I know.

I don't really like reading the news, knowing fully well how irresponsible Philippine media is. They seem to me like a bunch of telenovela writers - editting out a lot and losing the objectivity of being a newscaster. (Sorry, metalboy. Sorry media friends of metalboy.) The only accurate way to assess things was to get updates from people there themselves. People stuck at work taking pictures of the rallyists below. People informing me that the pulis were currently having merienda. People telling me that there was a totally beddable babe who was part of the crowd-control. People texting me that they couldn't get out home because their cars were stuck in the carparks blocked by the rallyists. Or I could get my news by watching TV and trying to make something of the mess in the background.

I'm not okay with Gloria declaring the country in a state-of-emergency, but somehow it seemed a little proper with all the shit going on around her. I applaud her taking the bearings and will probably keep on applauding her until the opposition can 01.) show me exactly why she needs to step down from government, complete with facts, charts and pictures. A full powerpoint presentation. Then of course there's 02.) that once they CAN prove to me that she's not deserving of the position now, they will provide a SUITABLE replacement for her. No offense to the veep, but I'd rather take Gloria over Noli any day.

I was so offended with whatsherface (you know, the one in yellow... Ninoy's wife.) ... Oh, Cory. I was so offended when Cory went to Makati on a freakin' Friday of all days to have a peaceful prayer rally with people being interviewed on TV lying to the audience face-on that they were just praying. Oh puh-leeze, what am I? DEAF? While whatshisname's face was plastered all over GMA7, you could clearly hear "GLORIA RESIGN!" and "ALIS GLORIA!" being yelled over the speakers. CLEARLY damnit. What the hell kind of a prayer is that? A call to chaos?

Shit you government person, I'm not that stupid you know. You should respect me better, not treat me like the inutil I always claim I am, because in the end, it's my fucking tax money that you're stealing. And when it comes to money, especially mine, more especially money that I seem to have no control over, hell, nothing else matters.

Did you ever notice that a lot of the people in power twenty years ago are still active in government now? It's like our nation hasn't changed. Time Asia wrote a feature on People Power. If you look at the pictures then, jeez, the same people are still on the pictures now.

I actually even thought of a great solution for all this. You know how the Phils has a gazillion islands right? Well, why not group them in fives or something and make a president-wannabe take over that instead. So like, Honasan (come on, you know he's still a player because he's still got that ambition to be president.) can take over a set of islands and so can Loi and so can Guingona, and hell, so can Kris Aquino and James Yap. Include those annoying groups like Bayan and Lakas or whatever too. Make them and all their groups live on those islands.

Come next election, I really am gonna vote. Screw the law. I honestly think only taxpayers should be voters. We don't need a democracy. Fuck, this 'democracy' of ours is a joke.

piracy

2006-02-22T13:44:00.000+08:00

yoshi's boss's PA called me last night. she said they they were looking for someone who knew SAP HR. shi recommended me. hey stupid, there's a world of difference between SAP ABAP and HR. anyway, since his company only hires via recommendation and my name was pulled out of the bag, i was asked if i was interested in applying.

getting in is highly likely, and they're willing to train. but, and yes, there's just got to be a 'but' there somewhere... i'd have to move to manhattan. or somewhere near like jersey or queens or whatever. relocate. by myself. the idea is thrilling and scary.

pros.
01. its NEW YORK, NEW YORK!
02. $$$$$$ IN YOUR FACE!
03. nearer to friends over at the States
04. great job, great opportunity

cons.
01. its NEW YORK, NEW YORK!
02. no mommy. no daddy.
03. $$$$ earner but $$$$ spender as well (with NY's 9% tax rate)
04. bye bye Pinas friends. no teddy, no ken, no aff. no FS's. no (paint)ballmates. no cousins. no family. no kuya jeff. =(

i haven't told my mom about this yet. i don't think i'd want to move that far on my own. underneath all this independence is a girl who still needs to be with her mommy. hehehe.

i think yoshi's job's cooler - if that company pirated me, i'd prolly ask them if i could do the 4week/2week thing that he does instead. i know i was asking for a new job and *poof* one pops up... but i dunno. it's not time for that big a change. and if it's a rush, i think i'd have to say no.

on the verge

2006-02-19T04:45:00.000+08:00

it's four in the morning. i was sleepy earlier. all the tired feelings are gone now. i feel like i should be singing, but i'm not quite sure what song to sing. i LSSed on sarah hudson's on the verge earlier. is it my song or is it his? i'm a girl on the verge, but i'm not the one with the nervous breakdown.

hi you. can you read this? could you ever tell me personally what's wrong with you? i want to help, but i don't know how. we all do. do you know how important you are to me? to us? do you? i wish you'd take better care of yourself. i don't know what happened that made you become like that. the stress maybe? the pressure? i don't know. you don't tell. will you ever?

observation
my situation
ain't looking up
i'm having stupid suicidal thoughts

complication
my hesitation
to cut you off
has put me at a total loss

i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown
i'm all messed up
baby, all 'cause of you
i can't sleep
i'm in too deep

i'm a girl on the verge of a major meltdown
i may be all freaked out and confused
but I still wouldn't wanna be you
i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown

devastation
my reputation
is headed south
my medication's running out

i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown
i'm all messed up
baby all 'cause of you
i can't sleep
i went too deep

i'm a girl on the verge of a major meltdown
i may be all freaked out and confused
but i still wouldn't wanna be you
i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

congratulations
i'm your creation
well how 'bout that
you better lock your doors cause the bitch is back

i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown
i'm all messed up
baby, all 'cause of you
i can't sleep
i went too deep

i'm a girl on the verge of a major meltdown
i might be all freaked out and confused
but i still wouldn't wanna be you
i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown

i'm a girl on the verge of a nervous breakdown
on the verge of a nervous breakdown

robot sa planet dynpro

2006-02-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

what i need is a battle plan. a course of action. a valid case. a study of sorts. something with pie charts and awesome graphics to sway him. statistics, educated opinions, maybe a pert or two. i need a fucking presentation.

when you're unsatisfied with what you've got, it's not enough to complain about it. i know. i complain all the time. it'd be better to have an alternative. have an option you can present. give the dsm a solution. in short, an answer.

i don't have that answer. i need to find it first. that's the reason i haven't started my presentation. for the meantime, i'll be looking at chris to unload. this is some shitty baggage.

hang on, there're just five left. i'm feeling hopeful.

going postal

2006-02-14T11:05:00.000+08:00

i thought about writing letters again. no one does that anymore. snail mail of course. the only things i get in the mail are bills and the standard christmas cards and happy birthday letters.

for everything else, there's email.

i saw someone else's blog and he/she/it/they talked about writing letters using watercolor. tried it last night as well. it looks like art projects from nursery. twenty years later and all my work still looks like toddler's finger-paints. LOL. my first try was pretty though. i'll test it out. if i don't like it, i can always NOT send it anyway.

i like letters. they take an effort to make and they're pretty costly, so you tend to put things that have more worth in them. probably test it on shi 'cause he's back in ny doing ny shit. living uptown, working downtown and generally trying not to get mugged. and cause he left me money to send him snail mail. you don't need to bribe me dude, but wait like a month or so. mail's freakin slow here. LOL.

i nearly forgot, happy hearts day shi. who are you going to scam tonight?

just to piss the US postal service, i'm thinking about dredging my letter in powder. or maybe ground up limestone. or that fertilizer thing that the feds originally thought was anthrax. stupid bitches don't know any better. coke in envelopes rock.

i AM a nineties kid...

2006-02-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

You know you're a 90's kid...

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air" "... look at my kingdom, i was finally there, to settle my throne, as the prince of bel air!"

You've worn skorts/culottes and felt stylish... yeah, in bright patterns too

You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club... i used to have all the books.

You use to love playing with your MY Little Pet Shop nooooooo!

You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie of "Full House". i always thought uncle joey was too sexy. if he were my uncle, there'd be incest all over.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. aramco channel 3, 4:30 pm on weekdays... 11:30am on Bahrain channel 5, weekends.

You remember when MTV played music. we had channel v, yo.

You wore a ponytail on the side of your head and had fluffed bangs. i did not have the fluffed bangs, my hair was too limp to fluff.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. OOOOH! I LOVES THIS GAME! and on those old diskettes too! oregooon trail! yes, i'd like 2 oxen please and a davy cart... and a replacement hinge for my wheel. and a sack of cornmeal, and three beef jerkys.

You played Sonic the Hedgehog for Sega Genesis until your fingers bleed. cooins!

You wanted to change your name to "Jem" in kindergarten. go rainbow brite!

You remember reading "Goosebumps". i still have 'em.

You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off" Hahahaha!

You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf. Nasty thoughts right there.

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school. twas red and had mickey mouse on the front, before i nagged my mom to buy those cool purple ones from rubbermaid.

You remember the craze then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books. glow in the dark orange! and slum books on black and white composition books!

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence... Not...

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together. No. I always hated the power rangers.

You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up". Yep.

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates. down the hill yes, we didnt have a skating rink in dhahran. there was geode circle though.

You ever got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide. YES! in mrs. rivera's backyard!

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down. i have pics dressed like that. this was more lesley ann's style though. i usually wore shorts and tshirts, with my socks either matching the color of my shorts or my shirt. plus red keds or my black nikes.

You can actually sing this clap game.
"Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack..."
all dressed in black, black, black,
with silver buttons, buttons, buttons,
all down her back, back, back"
SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER
FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS
TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS ELEPHANTS
JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE!!!
he jumped so high high high
he touched the sky sky sky
and he didnt come back back back
'til the forth of july ly ly
he jumped so low ow ow
he stumbed he's toe oe oe
and thats the end end end
of the elephants show ow ow"

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players. and vcr's vs. laser disks.

You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare". awww, friendships.

You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder". i never did like vicki.

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool. donnie, i hearted you.

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell". screech!

You played and or collected "Pogs". nope, i left that to jr, jeff and mark.

You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger and you owned a Skip-It. my skip-it still works. =)

You had at least one GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere. my giga was named gigi.

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles. yepyep.

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.). i outgrew that for trapper keeper stuff.

Yikes pencils and erasers were the shit. YIKES!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies were always sold out. not true, toy kingdom always had em.

You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes. and aj used to make those pompom earrings to which she sold for two riyals.

You remember a time before the WB. we didn't have wb. star channels lang.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?". i have these on video!

You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack. i still do.

You know the Macarena by heart.. LOL. the dance, but not the lyrics.

"Talk to the hand" ... enough said. 'cause the ears don't hear ya brother.

You thought Brain woud finally take over the world. but he never did.

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!" No! Why don't you?!

monday night

2006-02-08T23:35:00.000+08:00

he was fiddling with the vcr player when i came in.

"...can't this fucking thing to work", he growls.

i pretend to sympathize while settling down on couch. it's a yummy buttery leather with huge soft cushions. the room is cozy, the lights dimmed, the tv slightly turned to the sofas. there are dimmed lights under the bar.

pretty, i think. "dude, hurry up. it's nearly ten.", i complain.

"fuck this shit. maybe we should just watch a dvd instead." he sweeps his arm over the display. the dvd's are hiding in the shadows. right above it is a mural of cavorting clowns. it's a perverted picture and it creeps me out of my skin. the owner of the house is equally perverted. neither of us owns this place. god i wish i were filthy rich.

"after all the effort you put into getting us a copy of this tape? i think not." i stifle a yawn. "why didn't you ask for a cd copy instead? dvd?"

"it's hard to get copies of this and you'd think i'd demand to..."

*hoy, may pangit na nag text*

i hit my arm against the lamp's base while patting down the side table. where the hell is my phone?

"sino nag text?"

"wait a minute. where's my phone?"

ah, finally. contact.

'di, gt d tix alrdy.', displays my phone. "q says he's got the tickets."

"ah, okay. wait a second... i think i've got the right wires this time. 'di ko kasi nakikita ung mga kulay ng wires eh. color coded pala sila."

i humm a reply. velvet underground's after hours still whirls around in my head.

"... leave the sun - shine out... and say hell - o to never... all the people are dan..."

"ayun! got it!"

suddenly the tv comes to life.

he plops down next to me on the sofa, faces me and says.

"are you sure you want to watch this? kasi, i sort of dont want to."

"five minutes." i look at him. "give me five minutes. we'll judge afterwards."

the next forty minutes seem to take forever. our eyes focus on the screen. he turns the volume down. ganito ba talaga ito?, i think.

i think i'm slightly traumatized. two caucasians. one filipina. my first for-real snuff video experience. go figure.

whalalala shiboop doo doo boop

2006-02-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

i am going crazy.

i need to get a vacation.

NOW.

*puke first*

work is making me sick.

LITERALLY. FIGURATIVELY. EVERYTHING-LY.

or maybe just a change.

once again, i reiterate.

I HATE CHM.

i hate it so much it's starting to affect my view of R/3.

the only thing i find fun at work right now are my teammates and BS7799.

lipat na lang nila ako sa sepg. or training. or something.

Is this the sort of society we've become?

2006-02-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

i was listening to an radio interview earlier this evening of a couple survivors from the wowowee tragedy. on it, the host had three guests. two manangs and a manong who were right behind the gate that collapsed. shempre, dahil wala akong choice sa station (taxi kasi yun), i listened instead.

they narrated their side of the story. the first manang came from a province far far away (bicol? bohol? i didn't really care.) and said that she and her companions had queued for tickets to wowowee for at least three days. the other manang and the manong had similar stories. yung basic story nila, matagal na silang pumipila, tapos nung malapit na sila sa gate, bigla daw in-announce na isasarado na yung gate na yun. nagalit daw silang lahat sa likod ng gate. biglang nagpanic ang mga tao, at nagsimulang magtulakan.

you all know what happened next. people started pushing down the gates. the gates collapsed and all hell broke loose.

imagine that. a great loss of life because people just wanted TICKETS. it's such a shame. i find it as pointless as those people who get into soccer riots or people who rock concerts who throw bottles full of piss. what's the point really?

so i sat in the cab, following the story until the host said something that really annoyed me. angered me even. in slimy wormy words, he started insinuating that the entire thing was the government's fault.

huwaaaaaaaaaaat?! the government? i'm sure the administration has a lot more important issues to deal with than stupid gameshows. it is not the fault of the government. it's not abs-cbn's fault. it's not even the fault of poorly informed security guards. it's the PEOPLE's fault.

how dare do the stupid manangs and manongs support that claim?! the same manangs and manongs who told their tale of pushing and wanting to get in because of a bunch of stupid tickets! OMG WTF!

the government didn't make that gate collapse. the guards didn't encourage the people to push and shove. and abs-cbn didn't tell the people to walk over others already collapsed on the dirty floor.

i cannot believe these people are coloring the truth. PEOPLE STEPPED OVER AND KILLED OTHER PEOPLE FOR A BUNCH OF TICKETS DAMNIT.

god, i wouldn't want to die that way. what a loss of dignity pare.

~~~~~~~~~~

While we're on it... Ona and I were looking at the Celebrity Edition Pinoy Big Brother thingy. I don't really follow the show, and I don't even know half of the original housemates (except that Sam wears a lot of makeup - thanks to ficklefish).

Anyhows, here's what I think... from the top of my head, I hope that Bianca Gonzales or that black belter chick or Rico Robles win. I think that the two porn stars, the Keana chick and the one who was supposedly a lezzie, are either gonna be really good friends or get really catty. Official manyak will be the lead singer from Junior Kilat.

I don't really have anything to say about Zanjoe except that he's got a hot bod. I don't know where the Rudy Fernandez guy figures in all this quagmire. Official fag will be Rustom, and he'll have a ton of scenes in a washroom yanking off to either Christian Vasquez or Zanjoe. The rest... I have no idea yet.

I guess I'll have to get updated on this sort of thing.

literary geek

2006-02-01T16:30:00.000+08:00

i was talking to metalboy yesterday about books. aaaah. books. my one true love. yoshi (i spend too much time with you shi) and i were talking about that yesterday, along with my comments about me thinking that metalboy was a pure fo-range-er. hinde pala. he's a taglisher too. coolness.

anyhows, i realized that books are my one true weakness. chocolates...after a while you get sick of them. clothes, practical matter. but books? aaah. books. mental orgasms go through my mind just thinking about booklists.

i hate the way i'm drawn to bookstores. i enter fully booked (powerbooks, national, goodwill, books for less, and other what have you) knowing fully well that 01.) i cannot afford more books, and 02.) i have a backlog of twenty-three (metalboy, twenty-three pala, hinde twenty) books at home. yet, i browse the aisles and scope new reads out. at worst, i just read the entire book at the store anyway. it's not like they'll tell you not to anyway.

worse is when i look-up a book recommended by someone else on amazon and see the list of other books people who bought along with the first book. click on the link, see a new page. read the summary and realize, hey, it seems pretty interesting. why not add that book to my booklist?

funny thing i noticed too is how i go through 'reading phases'. they last for around three to four books at a time. childrens books. historical non-fiction. non-fiction crime. classics. 2004 bestsellers. iVid, it'd probably be fourty percent music, thirty percent video, and thirty percent audiobooks. i don't think so. audiobooks aren't huge files you know. rescale it to around ten percent. hahaha.

if this site were popular in the sense that az's is, i'd have set up a paypal account for people to donate money for books for me. yeah. great idea.

draide, read this and buy me more books in dallas.

anticipating the monday blues

2006-01-27T11:09:00.000+08:00

txt 4m yo

awww. I miss you too yoshi. uwi ka na. spain's not as exciting as metro manila's wonderful friday traffic. hahaha.

“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I
never have to live without you.”

recruitment.

i like the blue shirt HR sent.
sana enjoy mag recruit. malay natin, mas trip ko maging HR kesa mag code. hehehe.

i'm supposed to go to work on monday.

but, yoshi'll be back on monday.

also, ina's wedding is on sunday... however, it'll be in vigan, so i'll end up going to work on...

tuesday?

puta, ayokong nasa kotse ng katorseng oras tapos dederecho sa cybergate tapos walong oras na naman sa tapat ng pc at magkukunwaring gumagawa na naman ng punyetang chm na yan.

sa bahay na lang ako mag iinternet. di pa bawal ang porno. nyarharhar!

v_ttlfrndshp = yoshi + ina.

IF v_ttlfrndship GT work.
WRITE: 'milo, SL ako sa monday.'.
ENDIF.

hell yeah i'm cutting work.

or maybe i won't.

better get the fuck used to it baby.

yoshi you dick, if you're reading this, you better get my lion bars packed up. i will string you by your balls and offer you as tribute to bryanboy if you forget my bars.

bryanboy, if you ever read this (although i doubt that) always remember that i <333 you.

DIANE BRYANBOY!

i'm not sorry you're dead.

2006-01-26T12:12:00.000+08:00

it was the usual morning routine. wake up late as always, take a bath, prepare for work. nothing out of the ordinary. i was in the room deciding on what shoes to wear when the phone rang. it was my cousin jake (not kuya jake, although this jake is also a kuya...) who called to tell us that his father was dead.

well, ho hum. no biggie there. my entire lifetime has been a battle of my dad and his. it started when my dad forked over a huge amount of savings so that my uncle could buy land for us. since we were out of the country at the time, it was only logical that a _trusted_ family member handle financial transactions on our behalf.

that wasn't the case, however. my doctor uncle did buy the land, a huge number of hectares of prime land in fact, but he bought it in HIS WIFE'S name. my dad was supremely pissed when he found out about this (hello, wouldn't you be?), and he tore all the snail mails my uncle had sent. he'd asked another uncle, the lawyer this time, on whether or not he could sue. my uber powerful attorney uncle told him not to do this, and work things out. jesus, work things out my ass... it's been what? fifteen years?

i know i'm not supposed to speak ill of the dead. i mean, they're already dead. they could like haunt me or something. but god, i hated this uncle. i hated the fact that he stole something that would rightfully been mine (by default, as the only kid of course.) and then have the guts to inform people of his cleverness. stealing from others is already low... but stealing from your own kin? shameless. bragging about it?! 'mamatay ka na', i think was what the lawyer told him.

i'm ashamed to be related to them. i'm ashamed of having them tarnish our name like that. i'm ashamed of my uncle who robs from his own family. i'm ashamed of my aunt who condones it and pretends in front of everyone that her husband's a friggin' saint.

whenever we'd go to the attorney uncles' place and the doctor uncle was there, the doctor uncle would refer to the land as if it were my fathers. even the people who farm on the land now think that my dad owns that land... so when they have issues with other tenants and shit they go to my dad to sort it out. BULLSHIT. it's in your fucking name you prick of a doctor.

what's worse was when the Land Reform Act came about and the huge amounts of land had to be divided. as a truce, the doctor told the lawyer, that he'd sell the land to the government and then give the money to my dad. yeah right liar. as if my dad ever even saw a glimpse of the money you got. he was already walking on tight ground with the lawyer (the lawyer's some kinda mafia-clan-head-type-ish of ours) and then he broke his trust.

in 1999, he concocted this story about how he needed quadruple bypass surgery because he was sick or whatever sort of shit... he had his wife call everyone, and i mean EVERYONE to ask for money. the lawyer gave him fifty grand or so as pity money. my dad was so furious when my aunt called but he still planned to give pity money. 'kahit papaano ay kapatid ko pa rin siya', he'd said. (my dad's the eternal sucker.)

my aunt even called ME asking for money. ME, a FUCKING COLLEGE STUDENT?! just to make sure, i'd called back but i got my cousin on the phone instead. and the conversation went something like this except he was replying in cebuano:

me: 'hello, nanjan ba si tita blah? tatanong ko lang sana yung tungkol sa pera para sa surgery ni tito blah...'.
cousin: 'surgery?...'.
me (thinking that he didn't understand): 'oo, diba ipapa-quadruple bypass surgery yung tatay mo? kasi may tinatanong yung nanay mo tungkol dun eh.'.
cousin: 'ay, double bypass surgery yun... last month pa yun eh.'.
me: 'ha? eh pano yung pagbayad nun? tapos na ba?'.
cousin: 'oo naman, yung *company* yung nagbayad nun eh.'.
me: 'ok. sige, pasabi nalang na tumawag ako ha? babay.'.

ABAAAAA!!! scamming relatives again eh? i told this to my dad, who told this to the lawyer, who told his spies to check it out (yes, i told you we were mafia-like) who confirmed it a day later. shot your scam down eh? god, annoying.

so to the asshole doctor uncle who died this morning at four something am due to a heart attack... i'm glad you're dead. i'm glad that there's one less pest in our family.

mean, i know... but true.

¡La soledad me aterroriza!

2006-01-25T13:18:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna react because i know, in one way or another he's never going to be able to read this.

i'm annoyed at someone. annoyed because i emailed something to one of the groups i had, and one of the more 'senior' people emailed me personally asking me to tone down or censor my forwards.

jeez, it's a yahoogroup with more or less all adult members. i think it's slightly hypocritical that i was told to tone down my mails, considering he's not exactly the most conservative of people.

and fact of the matter is, that mail wasn't even the 'worst' it could have gone. i specifically remember worse emails, or emails with raunchier content that had gone unnoticed by the people.

why me?

why my mail?

it is because i'm not? or precisely for another reason entirely?

~~~~~~~~~

second, i'm annoyed at this other person. one who (if this website can be remembered) might read this page. i doubt it though. that person's slightly absentminded.

i'm annoyed because when i don't see this person, i get annoyed at them. but when i see them it gets all cleared up. however, because i don't really get to release my annoyance, it tends to build up. one day, i'm probably going to message that person telling them that i'm pissed off at them. and then, once again, i'm going to feel guilty.

i'm even more annoyed at myself because i don't want this person to matter as much as i make them matter. it's hard to give friendship up you know.

~~~~~~~~~

i'm annoyed at this one guy at work. well actually, let's say two. they're both at the project i work in, and they both piss me off for different reasons.

the first guy pisses me off because of his entire demeanor. i hate his attitude... as if he's close to the people even when he was just new. i hated the way he'd play along to inside jokes as if he understood the context on which they were based. i especially hate the way he texted me on our outing. he's the one who was late, and he had the gall to text me in that inane manner.

the second guy pisses me off because i lack patience and he's such a nag. i don't normally 'help' people out because i tend to assume that he knows what the hell he's doing. and i assume that because they've undergone through much more extensive training than i, that they've already attained a whole lot of information necessary to do their tasks at work.

unlike him, i didn't go through sales training when i began. i did work from scratch, assuming that i understood the work. and may i repeat that i don't have the patience? and that he's such a nag? i hate nags, and i hate people who ask me help for the tiniest details. and god, he's the type who constantly nags asking for the tiniest details. i've actually taken to signing off from my messengers and pretending to be offline just so i'd avoid talking to him.

~~~~~~~~~

still no word when i'm going to start taking the classes up. i don't know if i should buy the equipment now or not. i want to, but i'm a little intimidated. plus, i need a whole lot of equipment. more equipment equals more expenses. tristan emailed back already though (assuming that it was tristan) telling me the details of the classes. if the schedule is right, i might be able to start mid-february.

~~~~~~~~~

it's all going down tonight! yayness! even jeff thinks it's a YAYNESS day! hahaha.

yoshi arrives on monday. not sure about the time though.
i'll be going to euro star this weekend... hopin' the weather'll be good. these rains are starting to suck.
reminder to self: watch chins play (ask for playdates), aeon flux is on feb 1st, eurostar with the startgroup on the 4th, valentines concert on the 17th, memoirs of a geisha on feb 22nd, and da vinci code on may 17th...

my apologies to...

2006-01-23T11:50:00.000+08:00

dear ate toni/bebiko,

hello po. sorry at inakala mo akong snob nung saturday. sa totoo lang eh naintimidate po ako sayo at naging shy sa iyong presence. ang reality kasi po eh, shy talaga ako (promise! pakapalan lang sa office)... lalo na sa mga taong sort-of-kilala ko pero hinde ko pa namemeet tulad mo po. ayun lang.

promise ko po next time mas magiging behaved ako sa iyong presence. kakausapin na kita at magiging bibbo to the max. ipapakita ko pa nga sayo yung aking nakakahiyang tribute-to-vanity video sa space shuttle eh, basta wag mo lang ipakita kay milo para hinde niya ako asarin magdamag dito sa office.

shempre po kasi, ayokong malaman mo lahat ng kasalanan ko first day out pa lang. kaya ayun, avoidance theory diba? effective naman diba? hehehe.

na sad nga ako kasi after ko bumili ng ice cream at pumunta sa banyo (nung nag line tayo para sa ferris wheel), bigla na lang kayo nawala. nung una, akala ko nag lover's-disappearance lang kayo, pero nung minention ni draide na umalis na kayo... ay shucks, isip ko... kung kelan ako nag force ng courage para mejo mawala ang pagka-jahe, dun naman kayo nawala. sad pero at the same time, major relief.

sana rin i-pop ni milo yung blog entry na ito sayo para mabasa mo.

sa uulitin na lang,
diane

scream like a girl

2006-01-23T11:31:00.000+08:00

pregame for the caltex group was yesterday at gotcha. they were only thirteen and one didn't want to play. diego didn't want them to go do a 6man so deeg and i were unprepared as we were forced into playing. 4 rounds of ctf/speedball in a bunker setting. best part about it was it being free!

worst part about it was wearing shorts. the game sucks when you're trying to bunker when you're worrying whether or not your legs are gonna get slashed. hahaha, i remember the pre-pregame where we played centerflag instead. the steal moved mostly to the left, while i tried to avoid deeg. on the way, i moved behind the center bunk, and suddenly, i was next to girl from the other team. we thought we were teammates, when i realized she wasn't wearing red. 'surrender!', i yelled out. (see, unlike other people, i give fair warnings when shooting pointblank.) she screamed and ran away. damned suicide, i thought. i was correct. five seconds and around twenty shots later, she was covered in paint.

now, if i were a little more serious about my paintball, i'd start investing in equipment... hmmm, probably i'd get an auto or a semi-auto marker. something lightweight, barrels up to 150, and easy to clean and maintain as i suck at both tasks. preferably a piranha g3 in cyan or a spyder extra in purple. for goggles, i'd get the chameleon proteus by jt.

why paintball over airsoft?

well, why not?

hehehe, fine. let's list it all out.
01. paintball markers aren't part of the gun ban. they have different projectiles and guns, whereas airsoft gun are replicas of actual guns except they use bbs as ammo.
02. although they look less 'threatening' than bbs, paintball ammo hurts like a bitch.
03. the pop of the gun sounds a lot more authentic (airsoft makes a 'whzzt' sound. how unreal for a rep gun.)
04. it's prettier! and more colorful! shallow, i know but it does count.

cons, you ask?
01. equipment's a lot more expensive
02. better markers are only available overseas.

let's play (paint)ball! gotta love the violence.

drastic means DRASTIC

2006-01-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

friday.
things aren't going as planned. we were ALL supposed to succeed, in one way or the other. i never expected it to happen. most of all people, him... given the situation, you'd have thought that _that_ could be a possible outcome. i guess i just expected more out of all of us. i guess i'm just a positive thinker. maybe i was too optimistic? things can still be fixed, i'm sure. i just wish we knew how...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

saturday.
lonestar went to EK. fucking bad timing AGAIN! this time it was the saturday of EK's informal Mass Metro Manila Elementaries Fieldtrip Day. good thing we arrived early. the rides were still empty then. i take back what i said the last time i went to EK. there IS a possibility that it could get even more populated... need an example? here's one: milo estimated around 40 school buses in the parking lot at around 2pm. FORTY! imagine that. and those buses can seat 60 kids or so. gooooood, they attacked EK in droves! so maaaaaaaany! so very very many!

things i learned in EK about lonestar:
01. lonestar men are such sissies. boo, you whores!
02. it's hard to videotape yourself on the space shuttle. it takes a whole LOT of effort just to keep your arm in front of you.
03. sissy men hang out in sissy men-groups. (sorry chason, i know you're gonna read this, but you guys ARE sissies. for you personally, i mean that in the nicest possible way. we are dear friends and i forgive you for your sissiness. what annoys me is the story i heard of mack in the line at Rio Grande. god, space shuttle na nga lang di pa nakayanan. if you can't ride it, don't fuckin brag about 'not being scared of the ride' when you couldn't even bear to LOOK at the people getting in line. die, you turd of the universe...)
04. lonestar men take a LONG time shopping.

there were already many issues that happened just while waiting for the rides. people were LATE. kalbo was harrassing me. i was tired. ona was tired. BUT one thing, and one thing alone ruined the start of a perfectly good day. it was this text:

"Sabe ko, mamay tatawag nlng me sa inyo kpag nanjan na me. mauna na kau. susunod nlng me. ok-mack"

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! i fucking HATE people who use 'me' in that context! ok, im sorry that i'm an elitist. i'm sorry that i speak taglish... but excuse me for being human and having my own pet peeves! grrr. just for that alone, i erased his number on my phone. never EVER text me again mack, EVER! just thinking about it makes my blood boil.

on the way home, draide, roman, handSAM, ronnie and i started talking about the next TB. we want GALERA and we want it in APRIL so that we're complete and budgets are signifactly increased. ona! read this! WE WANT GALERA! go do something! tell bos leyo to start collecting the budget on a receipt basis! claim it every month! let's start saving!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i can't get if off my mind.

there is a huge difference between being called autistic, and someone having autism. there's a huge difference between being called a whore, and actually whoring yourself. there's a fucking huge difference between being depressed and experiencing depression. one's just an exaggeration... and the other?

damn. we're at the end of a rope here.

stopping the starbux splurge

2006-01-17T15:05:00.000+08:00

aba! it's been a month since i've last had a Starbuck's drink. amazing!

Ahhh! Here's a new kind of survey! Exciting!

can I tag people to answer this? Hmmm... I tag Abby, Mandy, and Rochelle. Sana na lang they see this.ÜÜÜ

WRATH
1. Who did you last get angry with? Mom. God she's annoying.
2. What is your weapon of choice? sarcastic humor... and tactlessness.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? Why not?
4. How about of the same sex? Sure!
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? Umm, I don't know either because when people get really mad at you, they never really tell you straight up.
6. What is your pet peeve? Barok people. And people who text na pa-cute... like, "hir na me, what time u punta hir?"
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily? Depends on who but I normally don't keep grudges.

SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a long time? Exercise.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? I think 8pm.
3. Who have you been meaning to contact, but haven't? Ahhh, Mitch. I keep forgetting. I was going to say Ria but I already talked to her.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made? "I have to sleep na." in response to late night invites.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? Yup. My folks bought an Airbed.
6. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? None. There's no snooze button on my alarm. It's the old fashioned bell kind that rings really loudly.

GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? Grande Rhumba Frappe with extra mint syrup.
2. Meat eaters are? ...gonna love Brazil Brazil!'s food.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting outing or event? Twenty-five shot fest. I think I killed my liver that night.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? Nope.
5. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods? Sweets.

LUST
1. How many people have you seen completely naked? Like live? Not in photos? Not including porn? Around less than ten I guess.
2. How many people have seen YOU completely naked? Hmmm... like three?
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? Hahaha! OMG, YES!
4. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? Great eye shape.
5. Have you ever been made a proposition by a prostitute? There was this one time in the Makati area... and once in Ortigas. Bwahaha.
6. Have you ever had a pregnancy test? Nope.
7. Is love at first sight really lust? Definitely.

GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own? Six primaries and two extensions.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store? Oh my. Gas. and M&S. and cheap-o department stores.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? Time deposit for 90 days, then get the interest and spend that on boy's toys. Repeat process.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Rich. Fuckin' filthy rich.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? It depends on the 'boringness' of the job.
6. Have you ever stolen anything? Yep.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? Around 3 gigs.

PRIDE
1. What is one thing that you've done that you're most proud of? I GRADUATED ON TIME, NO BACK SUBJECTS! NO FAILURES!
2.One thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? Same answer as above.
3. What thing would you like to accomplish in your life? Travel more.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? Nope! It still get's a medal... unless of course I really deserved to get first.
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? Yep!
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? Remember Spanish? Bwahaha! And Arabic classes too.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of? Table looping structure!

ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Yoshi's iVid. Damn him, he bought his using the specs on my to-buy list.
2. Who would you want to go on "trading spaces" with? Oprah. I figured it'd be awesome to have it all and be it all while remaining totally in tune with my dignity.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? Noah, as in the ark. Be the first recorded zoologist. :)
4. Have you ever been cheated on? Yep.
5. Have you ever cheated on someone? Nope.
6. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? I wish I was taller. 7. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? GLUTTONY. Yep, I admit. I'm a GLUTTON. Next is pride!

i'll hear the wedding march played soon

2006-01-13T17:21:00.000+08:00

one of my friends is getting married. for real. married not because...
01. she's pregnant
02. she needs a visa
03. forced marriage
04. she's highly insecure and needs to be in a 'stable' relationship
05. she needs the money

for her, it's the real deal.

"marriage is like a snowglobe. you can twist and turn the thing, but you won't experience it unless you're inside.", yoshi says. it's both a frightening and enthralling experience, and i, as a spectator can see all aspects of it. and you tend to wonder if you're ready for it yourself (it's just an example...).

for me, it's more than just a friend becoming someone else's wife. it's a mark of a new age for us. i'm nearing the quarterlife and frankly, i don't really see much changes aside from leaving school and making new friends. however, marriage signifies the sense of maturity and responsibilities my peers are making... if i'm twenty-two and my friends are getting married, isn't that a sign that something's come and gone?

it's different when i think of *toot*'s plans of getting engaged. he's twenty-nine while ate bebiko's twenty-six. for now, the seven years age difference between *toot* and i seems like a lifetime away. and conventionally, they're of marrying age. them announcing plans of getting married doesn't come as a shocker anymore.

as an aside... was talking to ria last night negotiating about the rock *toot* plans to drop on ate bebiko. for the longest time *toot* had no idea how to find out ate's ring size. i told him he should just go and ask her for it, but he didn't want to. instead, he went and bought a silver ring in 4.5 and had it placed in a black velvet jewelry box.

he told me that when he gave it to ate, she freaked out. i guess she'd have initially thought that _that_ was THE ring... well... it wasn't. hahaha. he just needed to find out the ring size. "hinde pa ito yun ha", i think was what he kept on saying to her. i can just imagine what it must have felt like for her, having the love of her life talk about their future together... getting presented the ring box... only to find out that it was pre-engagement ring! hahaha. what do they call that in celebrity circles? ah, the promise-ring. i can't get over that story. must've been hilarious.

back to the main topic. i'm so happy for marie! so glad that she and her fiance paolo have finally come to terms with their life goals and decisions. i guess it's already that time in her life where she can go and do this. she's already successful at work. she's financially and emotionally independent. she's got stock plans, a condo, a car, and a financial portfolio worthy of international brokers. she's got it all together. and trust me, he's not pig fodder either. this is just the next viable step for them. it came as naturally as their incredible bond of friendship, trust, respect and love for each other.

contratulations to the future mr. and mrs. paolo valesarte!

*no yoshi, i didn't write this so i could get wedding invites... i'm already invited. see? boo-ya! bwahaha!

you're only as sick as your secrets.

2006-01-09T16:51:00.000+08:00

philo humor:

...In a Dunkin' Donut shop, when the waitress asked him, "Do you want cream and sugar in that, Mr. Descartes?" he replied, "I think not"...

and vanished.

friday.

went to mega with then headed on to galle then ate dinner at chef with jeff. (it rhymes!)

hung with sina chris after rehearsals. okay, after dinner AFTER rehearsals. hehehe, i dunno what happened but they ended waaay before usual. damned unhappy with work. saw chris' christmas pics. ara's not a kid anymore. saw gus in pics. hilarious! that cheered me up! sorry gus.

checked my mail at home and i saw that larry cancelled another ticket. right on!

btw, need to check up if i can get a laptop already. i can't access lonestar mail on an ordinary connection. good thing i can autoforward important mails, but damnit, i can't reply to them.

saturday.

went to *tatararan!* cubao *applause* by myself! i went fish-ing at farmer's market. i was supposed to go to rockwell, but i figured i wouldn't be able to control my credit-happy wallet because of the sale so i headed on to cubao instead. i was so happy to shop for fish (good quality fish, mind you) that the awful fishy stench didn't really get to me.

that'll be the first and last time i'ma be shopping for fish in cubao cause when i got home, my dad grounded me... but that's okay because...

sunday / monday.

cheers and tears for the fact that my dad's gone! actually, he left at a godforsaken hour this morning to head of to his 5am flight at the airport. guess who played driver? yup. me.

i got to talk to angel a while ago. nakakamiss na talaga sha. of all the chorale girls, angel was the only one i kinda opened up to. when things started to change, and she began to focus more on school, we kinda lost touch. thanks angel for the fifteen minute labas-ng-sama-ng-loob chat marathon. hehehe. i'm holding you up on that *thing* you promised.

announcements:

roman told me that denson had an awesome gig at tiendesitas. sorry couldn't go dude, but congrats anyway!

hey friends, chipi b. (not p, j, or r either) is thinking of getting together sometime this week, weekday or weekend. who can come, and when's your preferred day? text me!

disappointment and pre-weekend rants

2006-01-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

i hate being disappointed with myself. i hate not being able to finish things. i try and try and i end up harrassing those people who can help me on these, but no one seems to know where to apply the fixes.

if you read the SIRS, they're pretty lame. you already sort of have an idea of what you're supposed to do, all you gotta do is figure out where to apply them.

but for SIRS that depend valid test data everytime in order to debug, life is starting to suck. test data that works one day doesn't work the next. data that used to not work suddenly works again. recreating iDOCS may or may not process in errors when run in CMS_RTCM. ang dami pang bugs sa system.

and damnit, just viewing documents is a whole lot different than processing them. naka-store na pala yung data. hay, tanga mo talaga diane.

it's not the abap work that's killing me. it's the data flows and trying to figure out kung yung problem is in R/3 or CHM... if you're supposed to apply the change to the iDOC or keep the iDOC data and only apply changes when the damned claim is being processed? should the checks apply only in certain transactions? what about R/3CHM relations?

what if i end up applying changes that are correct for this transaction, but when the doc is viewed in another transaction, and the computation is once again different, what then? or how about, if the values are computed before or after currency exchanges? i'm going out of my mind.

it's bizarre. i actually go home and still think about this stuff. during the holidays, i was eating noche buena when that stupid rounding issue suddenly popped in my head. damnit.

i know that all of this can be solved. i just don't seem to have the power (or connections) to figure out how. damn damn damn. i don't know what i'm more pissed at - myself or these fucking tasks. it's so frustrating to check and read and reread, and then find a computation somewhere in some weird class (wala pa akong access sa se24! fuck it.) and then find out that it's not the right one. my mind is going numb just pressing F5 and F6 and F7 the entire day.

and at the end of it all is disappointment. i keep repeating it. i feel like a reject. like i'm so fucking stupid. i can't even find the damned computation. and grabe, i feel so ashamed pa. i mean, how can i face my lead, my team? lampas one month ko na ito ginagawa. tapos wala. still stuck. still dead end.

even OSS, nag give up na sakin. "that's a consulting question" they always say. what the shit?! NO IT'S NOT VIVEK, i'm telling you... i'll bet vivek just don't know the answer to my question is why he/she gives me that crap of an excuse.

kahit ITtoolbox, saphelp, sapfans, at si bestfriend Google wala ng maitutulong.

buti na lang mejo may naayos ako sa isang ticket. actually, may nagawa naman ako for all three eh. hinde nga lang complete yung functionality na magagawa niya. sana ma cancel talaga yung kay AC. sana lang.

and what's worse is, i know the solution to ALL OF THIS! hay, kay dali.

LEARN TO WORK WITH A TWO FUCKING DIGIT CURRENCY YOU STUPID SHIT OF A COMPANY!

PUTANG INA MO CHANNEL MANAGEMENT! SANA MAY SOFTWARE SYSTEM NA MAS OKAY KESA SAYO NA LUMABAS!

so as of now... ratings are from one (as lowest) to ten:
01. happiness - three
02. stress - ten
03. anger - seven
04. confusion - nine
05. disappointment - ten
06. frustration - ten
07. shame - nine

total amount of SELF-ESTEEM? let's stick it at three point five.

i'm still hanging on... just barely though.

help, can someone get me out of this? i'm not supposed to be doing this kind of work!

bos leyo, binulshit mo naman ako eh. sabi mo 'madali'... sabi mo 'OSS lang yan lahat'... sabi mo 'maraming oppotunities sa CHM, kahit sa labas ng *company name*'. ulol. ibalik nyo na lang ako sa vertex. or kahit sa ibang team. please. as in please, maawa kayo sa akin.

naiiyak na talaga ako.

twin lovin'

2006-01-04T17:25:00.000+08:00

look ma, twins!

ang cutie niyo. hehehe. sibling vanity at it's best. camwhores and gigs unite! sa uulitin na lang! uuwi ng tatlong araw, tapos aalis na naman. gravacious ng trabaho mo ah. shi, enjoy ba ang pasko kasama ang pamilya?

10 things I resolve to do in 2006.

2006-01-02T15:06:00.000+08:00

my lousy attempt on a new year's resolution...

01. Grow my hair longer. I still want those princess locks.
02. Read the stack of books on my bedside table.
03. Use up my leave's. both S and L kinds.
04. Call more instead of text. (Like that's gonna happen.)
05. GET BETTER!
06. Get a new job.
07. Quit. July 2006, just you wait...
08. Move on.
09. _attempt_ to spend LESS
10. Spend quality time. With anyone. (Now that's concommital!)

^_^ happy thoughts

2005-12-31T13:37:00.000+08:00

I'm having a terrible time snapping out of this tropical lethargy, what with a full moon, millions of stars, and you to dream of. Can you wonder I'm in a trance? ...You have me right up in the clouds and I love it, and you and life, and that makes the sun shine night and day for me.

auuuuurgh!!! kiliiiiig!!!

aaaah-chooooo

2005-12-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

i keep on sneezing. it's totally abnormal. i was walking around the mall earlier today, and i just kept on sneezing. i'm seriously coming down with something...

about my leg... yes, that tragically retarded bike accident which turned out to be a mechanical beast of a slasher. the cut's not so bad after all. i think the bleeding made the initial estimation completely overated. if i had my period, plus i was on puke-mode, and my leg got slashed again, i really think the scene'd be off a b rate horror flick.

belated HAPPY HOLIDAYS people!

merry christmas to all christians!!!
happy hanukkah to ya'll jews!
and wonderful whatever-god-you-believe-in day to the rest!

to those who texted to my smart number... well, i'm sorry! the smart signal where i am is funky. on christmas day, i got like texts from december 23rd! what's up with that?!

strike whilst the union is hot

2005-12-21T15:49:00.000+08:00

the metropolitan transportation authority went on a strike beginning yesterday 3am in new york city. subways and busses were out. for people like yoshi (who is currently based in ), the 73-or-so-block distance from his apartment near the gershwin theater to his office in the world financial center proved to be a challenge. first of all, he didn't have transpo. second, he didn't have alternative transportation. and third, he didn't know anyone with a car.

in the middle of the weirdest day yet, i get a call from him on my cell asking if i could go online and check out taxi numbers.

'get a cab. safest bet mo ang taxi,' i tell him.

apparently, the lack of cabbies in the area has pushed the local government to implement a 4-person per vehicle rule. i'm not sure if that applies to cars as well, but as far i as i know, a cab can't leave unless it's got at least 4 folks inside.

'what are other people doing?' i ask him. he says they hitch with other new yorkers going downtown.

'then hitch', i say.

'but i'm not a people person', he whines. 'mga antipatiko pa naman ang mga new yorkers.'

screw being a people person. it's 7am in your time zone and you can't get a cab of all the days that you really need one.

'do you know anyone with a bike you can borrow?' i ask.

'hinde pa ako ganun ka desperado at willing mag bike sa ganitong lamig, diane,' shi says.

'i'm not asking you to be sane. if you need to get to work, eh di kelangan lahat gawin mo para makapunta sa work diba? at least a bike can get you faster than just walking, you know...'

then he does that sound that means he's not even considering the idea.

-silence for a couple seconds-

'what if i check up with my boss? maybe they've got a way for me to get there?'

'i dunno, ikaw yung hotshot sa'ting dalawa. ask if they've got a company car or something. dapat lang they should make you hatid and sundo. hello, ikaw yung guest jan eh...'

'wait lang ha... tawag muna ako.'

-you can hear another phone being placed on speaker mode. a dial tone comes on, sounds of shuffling papers, and then buttons being pushed... a pre-recorded message answers... yada yada yada, welcome we are, yada yada yada... if you know the direct extension of the person you are trying to contact, please press the number now or else wait for... and another set of buttons are being pressed.

'hello, mr. wilkinson's office,' a cheery voice answers.

'hi and good morning. this is john paul yoshimitsu. i'm calling about transportation problems coming from the apartment...'

'mr. yoshimitsu! oh, i'm so sorry we didn't tell you about the strike! please don't worry about it. there's a delay right now, but rest assured that we'll have the company van pick you up by lunchtime.'

'oh... a van? ah... that's great. so, um, like, when do i know they're there?'

'well mr. yoshimitsu, i'll have the driver contact your apartment's front desk and i'll also give you a call ten minutes before he arrives... will that be alright?'

'ah, um... that sounds ok. ok, i'll wait for your call. thanks mrs. fullerton.'

'you too john paul.'

-click-

and then the sound of my receiver being picked up...

'yipee, susunduin ako pero tanghali pa!', shi says.

'ayos, pwede ka pa matulog ulet. sige chong, i have to pee pa. tawag ka na lang ulet.'

'ha? but i just got back from the phone!'

'when you gotta go, you gotta go... ayokong magpaka-fergie in here noh!', i exclaim.

'ay sha sha... ingat ka ha. sa muling uulitin.'

'ikaw rin po. ingat ingat shi.'

-click-

i miss shi already. :(

ok, back to the issue at hand... is this strike really gonna continue? this article says that 4 out of 5 new yorkers take the bus or a subway to get to work. how is this strike going to affect the big apple's economy. and during the holidays too. this is going to be a big blow for revenue. i can already feel all those dollars being spent somewhere else. hahaha.

yoshi, pasalubong ha! gusto ko snow.

sister, i'm not much a poet but a criminal

2005-12-19T09:21:00.000+08:00

man-day na pala ngayon. at mejo patapos na ang dagsadagsaang mga christmas party. mamayang gabi na yung sa ass-en-sure. huwaw. apat na libong tao ang makakahalibilo ko mamaya sa world trade. shet. pak. pamatay moves na naman itech.

bos milo, pwede ba ako maguwi na laptop sa bakasyon? napepressure na ako tapusin ang lecheng CHM na yan. hay samir, why do you want me to do what seems to be impossible. i'm not a fricking superhero you know.

fried day.
friday night yung party ng vertex sa casa roman(s)a. masaya naman. super aliw ako sa group showdown...

realizations:
01. mas astig sumayaw si mandy kesa kay abbya and beni combined. hahaha! that's saying a lot.
02. hot si dar kapag naka spag top... pero putek! ang ganda ni harry!!!
03. ang group na mananalo kelangan eh may uptake sa judge... oks lang samin, pambato namin ke cheng si beni... tsaka monito ko yung mokong eh.
04. para manalo sa DA WHO awards, kelangan may campaign managers...

so nanalo group namin. ahe-hem. epal lang talaga ako dun eh. mas trip ko nga sila panoorin. bagay pa sa showdown yung venue. aba, at nakipagcooperate ang panahon sa aming party. masaya ang rooftop pare! mahangin!!! ayun pala yung purpose ng mga hat na yan... kung wala sila, swear to god, bad hair night na iyon.

ayos rin pala si harry magbigay ng gift. may price tag pa talaga. stick it in my face na 425 yung earrings ko ha... pero nice the earrings ... super i like! todo. to the max. wow. pink with green. yahoo! may bagay na sa skirt kong isa! now i need naman red na dangling na parang lacquered na hikaw. *hirit!*

after mag party (kain + kwento + cheer + nood + kodak kodak + tsaka magpanic dahil sa gift giving na yan) nagbalak kaming mag videoke. originally kasama si beni, pero since rush yung plans, dumating na ang sundo nya. oks lang. hinatid naman kami papuntang music21.

mejo matagal rin kaming nagantay ng room. (pare, pangit pakinggan nun ah.) nitake na lang namin yung pang 10 na offer. ok lang naman. mejo taob sa pagkain at drinks.

tas pak! paos na nga ako, shempre can't resist pa rin si gaga kumanta diba? ANG SAYA! a few couple beers lang pala ang kailangan para mejo mag all out sa kantahan. mga pakners in crime sina kuya braces, sige-arvin-tulog-pa, si kapitbahay harlie, HOTness dar, bos doyboy with da uber sexy phone, surfer-watch shaun, tsaka si magBOO...

buti nalang nakauwi just in time for the sun to rise.

shatter day.

hay! epekto ng kulang sa tulog. sige, suka ulet ng dugo. kung tutuloy pa ito, feeling ko kelangan ko na maghanap ng bampira para di naman sayang ang aking b+ water.

i felt really really bad. nagtext na lang ako kay chris sabi ko sasabay ako kay lorrie instead. by three-ish, tumawag si lorrie, sabi nya kakatapos lang ng class ni angel, kaya dapat umalis na kami. eh kahit isang libong gramo na ng ponstan tsaka tylenol, feeling ko namamatay pa rin ako... so no nalang.

pakshet, i feel so bad pa rin. this time, hinde dahil sa sakit, pero dahil na miss ko yung first time na magkaconcert ang chorale na may kasamang orchestra. sorry talaga chris and ted. kahit papano andun naman ako in spirit eh.

sand day.

morning binyag in classy tagaytay! i loooooove the sand. sana may nagsabi sakin na pwede mag swimming. who cares kung malamig yung water?!

theeen, classy lunch naman in classy house in classy antipolo! hoy, not the *bang bang* places ah. this was... CLASSY! to the max! gravacious ang travel ah. hinde ko nga napansin mashado kasi NATULOG LANG AKO!

did a couple of the things to do sa to-do list. i got na rin my book! yehey! major props kay chris (hinde si xuj) sa powerbooks gcs! i got a copy of "through a glass, darkly" ni jostein gaarder. so far, mejo depressed pa rin yung mood ko. that's why, of all the many books na pwede kunin, kelangan talaga about a little girl na mamatay na. at shempre, haluan na rin natin ng deep bull ekshet ni gaarder.

in fairness, gusto ko pa rin yung writing style na. super interpretive kasi. ikaw depende sa understanding mo. at dahil mejo malalim ang mga concept, uber vague man ang words, nafefeel mo pa rin. imagine being an angel? ang dami talagang trade-offs. who's to say what really? who's to say how god is or isn't? i love the fact that gaarder portrays this god to be simple and childlike.

tapooos, hinahanap ko si ted sa mega. dapat kasi iikot ako sa mga USB's para kay ate ivy. after church naman, eh major disappointment. di na sumipot after pumunta kami ni ted sa kabilang side ng mega. ayos ka rin chris ha. ayos. no snaps for you boy.

nagshopping si ted. wallet, damit dapat, tsaka tv dapat. pati si aff binilhan na rin namin. ayun. kasi masama akong friend at wala akong maisip na ibigay para kay aff. kay tagal na, tapos na-resign na ako sa fact na baka this year hinde ko na lang sha bibigyan. but, buti anjan si ted.

hay, i love ted. teddy talaga, you rock my world. sobrang bihira talaga that we get to spend 'quality' time together. i'm so appreciative na the little time i spend with you (and only with you! woohoo!!!) is meaningful. hay hay. happy hearts. hehehe.

the rest of sunday... nag night time caroling galore. yehey! may money na naman ako! i love caroling. :) pano na yan, kapag tapos na christmas? wala ng caroling. sad.

retail therapy.

2005-12-16T15:03:00.000+08:00

i got the rustan's GCs kanina....

and already spent it by lunch.

Hahaha! Chris recommended SF's Incanto por Femme. Mabango nga. Yun daw or Lanvin's Eclat. (Pronounced as "ek-LAH" not "ek-LAT".) It reminded me too much of lanzones. On the other hand, it smelled like santol to Jane. So SF perfume na lang.

365 days of waiting for GCs.

3 hours to determine what to spend it on.

10 minutes of Internet and AIM to find the specific scent I wanted.

4 minutes of choosing between Lanvin or Ferragamo.

28 seconds to get the GCs from my bag and pay for the bottle.

7 minutes later with 102 pesos as change, I'm done!

6 Signs Your Boss Might Be Killing You -- and 6 Ways to Fight Back

2005-12-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

Subtle changes in your daily routine could point to a bigger health problem. Here are six signs that your job might be wearing you down, and six easy tips for staying healthy -- physically and mentally -- at work.

>> Let's see how I fare eh?

Some people develop insomnia as a result of stress. Others feel overtired and may get too much shuteye to compensate. Either way, unusual sleep habits -- especially a sudden change -- should send up a red flag.

>> Hello, welcome to my world... insomniacs unite.

When you don't give your mind a break from the intensity of work, it can surreptitiously take one for you. If you're constantly checking your latest bid on eBay, it may not be because you really want to win that used guitar. Frequently, it's because your mind is overloaded.

>> Are you really sure I'm doing CHM work? Use the example... change 'eBAY' into Multiply, Lifehack, or Blogger.

There's" a reason it's called junk food. When you're reaching for that bag of Cheetos, or skipping lunch altogether, it's an indication that you're not giving your body the proper consideration.

>> Hehehehe.

Stress experts say the true test of kicking a bad habit is whether or not it comes back under stress. So if you're picking up the Marlboros again or having an extra martini or two at happy hour, there may be another culprit -- stress.

>> Ito rin. Hehehehe.

This isn't just about forgetting to set the alarm. It's about running away from the things that are causing you stress.

>> Work is at 8. I arrive at 9:16 onwards. I do undertime as well.

Our bodies have many ways to react to stress. If your desk is littered with empty Advil bottles and Tums wrappers, you could be masking a bigger problem.

>> Where do I start?

The original article can be found here.

dakilang killjoy

2005-12-14T17:49:00.000+08:00

kakabukas ko lang ng ACN mail ulet. nag email si ivy barrosa (sino yun?) na kasama yung 'completeness' ng group sa dancing ekshet na yan. sorry na lang sa group ni madame amore at hinde ako makakasayaw. panira sa life ang sked niyo eh. nauna na yung caroling ko.

ba't naman kasi kasama pa yung completeness na yan? alam naman nila na naka-longterm loan (without interest) pa ako sa lonestar. alam naman nila na may sariling universe ang lonestar.

so minus three percent na kaagad sila. killjoy ba ako? kaya ko naman i-justify eh. wala akong nakukuhang practice skeds. usually, nalalaman ko na may practice on the day itself. and sorry na lang kasi siguro unlike the rest of you guys, i do have a life outside work. tsaka, usapang pera ito eh. mas malaki pa rin ang nakukuha namin kaka-carol kesa sa sumayaw ng jologs songs para sa kaaliwan ng team.

pero pupunta pa rin ako sa party. shempre naman. enjoy yan eh.

hay, sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ko... kay abbya, shanshan, doyboy at kung sino pa ibang under ke madame amour sa christmas dance showdown na yan... sorry talaga.

wag magalala, at least alam niyong meron kayong audience.

lord, make me a joseph.

2005-12-14T01:26:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: I am a _bad_ Catholic. The views in this entry might not be the same as the Church's teachings, but please... spare me the lecture.

Joseph took God's son into his heart, thus discovering a purpose for his own life within the greater purposes of God. My prayer is that you will do the same.
- Rev. Howard Edington

I remember once telling Milo something along the lines of, "I'm not motivated to work anymore. Give me a reason to feel like I need to work." His answer went something like, "Do it as if you were serving God Himself.". And I replied, "Give me something more tangible than that.".

I think I'm becoming a cynic when it comes to faith. Or rather, that I'm pretty much losing my faith. Or... I'm not even _in_ the faith at all. Lately, with this weird depression phase I'm going through, I'm seeing life a whole new way. Really, if you were as non-devout as I -- as far off a religious as I, how could you realize service for God? Service for the Pope or the late Mother Teresa would be better examples. There you can realize the gravity of your task and the degree of import of the person you had to serve. The severity is real. It's actual. You can see it, feel it, and understand the greatness of your role. I know that serving God is a huge deal... it's just a whole lot harder to conceptualize.

I come home tonight and flip open the latest copy of Time (December nineteenth issue) and there was this article on Joseph, Jesus' father. "Father and Child", on page forty-one. It mainly talks about the lack of information about Joseph and his role in Jesus' life, as well as the numerous works written about him hundreds of years after he'd passed on. And that his most recent champion is a Protestant pastor whose son was killed in a freak car accident.

If you think about it, there's hardly anything written about Joseph. In the Bible, he's mentioned so seldom that people tend to forget that he is a crucial person in Jesus' entire development. The Catholic faith believes that Jesus was one person of two natures, both earthly and divine. And before we get into a discussion of the philosophical meaning of 'person' and 'nature', let's get back to the topic at hand...

In my quest of faith, it personally is hard to look at a God and see him as a divine being. That's why I tend to reflect more on Jesus. Not on who he was and all the minor details in his life, but on how he lived and _was_. And in all of that, Joseph plays a major role.

Yes Jesus was born as God, but people are still people and Jesus was born and raised just as the rest of us were. Joseph took this boy, knowing that he was the son of God, and raised him the best way he knew how. He was Jesus' earthly father, the man who taught him how to live per se - the man who dedicated a good portion of his life passing on his limited knowledge to a supreme being.

In a way, I can identify with Joseph more than I can with Jesus. I can imagine all the trials that he must have encountered along the way. How can he, a mere mortal, mold his son any more than God already had? How did he feel knowing that he was to marry a woman who was going to bear another's son? How was it like to teach life and living to God himself?

For me, Joseph portrays much more human trials in his life than other major players in the Bible. Jesus is harder to understand. He is both man and God, and yet even with his greatness, he undergoes a sense of humanity that makes you wonder if he really was capable of being God. It makes you wonder, because if Jesus is God, why couldn't he have just avoided the Devil when he was in the desert? (And yes, I know Father Perez's answer to this... Complete pa ata yung Theo notes ko.)

Joseph, on the other hand, lives in the conflict of the earthly and the divine everyday. It's his son we're talking about. His son is God - not a dead person reflected on thousands of years later. Joseph is human. His trials are human. He has human flaws, human suffering, and the capability for human greatness. His struggle is real, it's tangible. For him, it occurred everyday.

If I had a chance to meet one person from the past, Joseph would have been a top contender. (Jesus first [the entire meet and greet and total starstruck fanfare], Eve second [what was it like banished from Eden?], Noah third [how was it like for God to erase all of humanity except yourself and the many species on your ark?]...) I'd like to have heard of his daily struggle of living within the faith and yet still be a part of his society. I'm sure that he was more than the simple and loving man early works cite him to be. I'm sure there was much doubt and confusion and a mix of human emotions that he dealt with as he lived with both son and God.

In the end it's all about admiration. You have to admire the guy's guts. He assumed such a great responsibility and yet hardly anything is known about him. I wonder why.

just another sucky tuesday

2005-12-13T18:16:00.000+08:00

christmas party ng vertex sa casa roman(s)a sa friday. isip isip sa isusuot. ala kasi akong funky hat eh. nahahasel pa naman akong gumawa. meron ako yung parang mga traditional hats na ala pormang farmer. meron din ako yung african prayer hat na ginamit ko the last time na nireenact namin yung nativity scene, pero sira na yung stiff lining nun at mej mashadong maliit na sa head ko. ayoko rin naman ng beach hats. gusto ko sana coniotic na bowler hat... or yung army berets na red (russian!). but since ala nun dito, have to make do with what you've got.

so nung sabaday sa mega todo shopping shopping with the kids ako... dun sa may gitna, may stalls na ala baguio style knit goods. meron silang flop hat for fifty bucks. sige, bili na lang ng black para safe.

merry christmas rin pala! ang saya saya. mejo tapos na yung shopping ko. si aff na lang kulang. kay ken at ted, ayun, i more or less told them to pick out what they want tas ako na lang babayad. shempre, sa case ni ted... ayun. pero astig pa rin yung celtic crossroads. ika nga ni ken, for the first time may orig na na putumayo cd si ted.

enjoy rin so far mag monito-monita sa lonestar project ko. masaya ung mga naiisip nila na 20 bucks objects eh. si jeff nga, bumili ng muriatic acid (huwaaaat!!!) para sa "something you wouldn't want to own". binigay ko yung pikachu na pillow. i hate pikachu. kadiri to death. ang nakuha ko naman ay loofah. grabe, sino naman ang hinde gagamit ng loofah? kakatuwa, at least may bago na akong loofah. mwahahaha.

sayang nga lang kasi hinde ipinasa ni jason ang nakuha niyang pamaypay ng engkantadia (sp?) dun sa monday theme na "something that looks worth more than 20 pesos". wirdo talaga kung sino man nagbigay nun. sobrang tawang tawa kaming lahat.

naslip-up na nga rin si ona ngayon eh. she accidentally blurted out her 'codename'. sayang men. tsk tsk. ako naman, aamin na. ako si "jograd dela torre" kung sino man un. yung nabunot ko naman ay si "jun aristorenas" na hanggang ngayon ay hinde pa rin kinukuha ang kanyang mga regalo sa loob ng aming kahon.

personally, parang mas masaya ung gift ekshet dito sa lonestar kesa sa vertex. or baka dahil sobrang layo ko lang talaga sa vertex kaya hinde ko naeenjoy ang mga reaction ng tao dun. hay, minsan nakakamiss na rin mga tao sa vertex...

nabalitaan ko rin na either one of my two projects dito sa 6th yung lilipat sa 11th floor. sabi ni doyboy , na yung 8thMonth daw yung andun. pero ala pa rin siyang nababalitaan na may lilipat sa amin. personally, parang ang hirap kung lumpipat. pano na mga katulad ko na dual ang projects?

aba, instant chismax, sabi ni doy na sabi ni sup'g na lonestar daw ung lilipat. at mejo for real na raw un.

sige, at aalis pa ako papuntang st. francis. di naman nag reply si kat sa mga ym ko eh. i guess i'll just have to brave it out alone.

a politically correct christmas

2005-12-12T12:10:00.000+08:00

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger because there was no room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said; "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the Lord."

"There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee, who happened to be strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious symbols, and the stable was on public property, where such symbols were not allowed to land, or even hover.

"And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too."

Joseph had a bright idea. "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and the ass?" he said, eager to avoid sectarian strife.

"That would definitely help, said the Pharisee, who knew as well as anyone that whenever a savior appeared, judges usually liked to be on the safe side and surround it with deer or woodland creatures of some sort. "Just to clinch it, throw in a candy cane and a couple of elves and snowmen, too." he said. "No court can resist that!"

Mary asked, "What does my son's birth have to do with snowmen?"

"Snowpersons," cried a young woman, changing the subject before it veered dangerously toward religion.

Off to the side of the crowd, a Philistine was painting the Nativity scene. Mary complained that she and Joseph looked too tattered and worn in the picture.

"Artistic license," he said. "I've got to show the plight of the haggard homeless in a greedy, uncaring society in winter." he quipped.

"We're not haggard or homeless, the inn was just full," said Mary.

"Whatever," said the painter.

Two women began to argue fiercely. One said she objected to Jesus' birth "Because it privileged motherhood."

The other scoffed at virgin births, but said that if they encouraged more attention to diversity in family forms and the rights of single mothers, well, then, she was all for them.

"I'm not a single mother, all Jewish women of my time are called virgins during the first year of their marriage" Mary started to say, but she was cut off by a third woman who insisted that swaddling clothes are a form of child abuse, since they restrict the natural movement of babies.

With the arrival of 10 child advocates, all trained to spot infant abuse and manger rash, Mary and Joseph were pushed to the edge of the crowd, where arguments were breaking out over how many reindeer (or what mix of reindeer and seasonal sprites) had to be installed to compensate for the infant's unfortunate religious character.
An older man bustled up, bowling over two merchants, who had been busy debating whether an elf is the same as a fairy and whether the elf/fairy should be shaking hands with Jesus in the crib or merely standing to the side, jumping around like a sports mascot.

"I'd hold off on the reindeer, the man said, explaining that the use of asses and oxen as picturesque backdrops for Nativity scenes carries the subliminal message of human dominance.

He passed out two leaflets, one denouncing manger births as invasions of animal space, the other arguing that stables are "penned environments" where animals are incarcerated against their will. He had no opinion about elves or candy canes.

Signs declaring "Free the Bethlehem 2" began to appear, referring to the obviously exploited ox and ass. Someone said the halo on Jesus' head was elitist.

Mary was exasperated. "And what about you, old mother?" she said sharply to an elderly woman. "Are you here to attack the shepherds as prison guards for excluded species, maybe to complain that singing in Latin entifies us as Roman oppressors, or just to say that I should have skipped patriarchal religiosity and joined some dumb new-age goddess religion?"

"None of the above," said the woman, "I just wanted to tell you that the Magi are here."

Sure enough, the three wise men rode up. The crowd gasped, "They're all male!" And, "Not very multicultural!"

"Balthasar here is black," said one of the Magi.

"Yes, but how many of you are gay or disabled?" someone shouted. A committee was quickly formed to find an impoverished lesbian wise-person among the halt and lame of Bethlehem. A calm voice said, "Be of good cheer, Mary, you have done well and your son will change the world."

At last, a sane person, Mary thought. She turned to see a radiant and confident female face. The woman spoke again, "There is one thing, though, Religious holidays are important, but can't we learn to celebrate them in ways that unite, not divide? For instance, instead of all this business about 'Gloria in excelsis Deo,' why not just 'Seasons Greetings'?"

Mary said, "You mean my son has entered human history to deliver the message, 'Hello, it's winter?'"

"That's harsh, Mary," said the woman. "Remember, your son could make it big in mid-winter festivals, if he doesn't push the religion thing too far. Centuries from now, in nations yet unborn, people will give each other pricey gifts and have big office parties on his birthday. And that's not chopped liver!"

spilling out secrets

2005-12-12T12:07:00.000+08:00

it began as an escape. i needed an escape from reality. now, _it's_ not enough. i need more. it's _like_ a drug, you know. you can live without it, but life becomes routine. a bleak heavy hole in your heart. and though it isn't necessary, it becomes such a great high. i can't explain it, you just have to experience it. it surpasses all kasi. as in ALL. gimiks, parties, friends, trips, vaca's. name it and i'll tell you that it's worth more. it makes me _happier_ pa than when i'm with sina ted, and that's pretty much saying a lot. pasko na, at nagsisimula na akong magka-dependency issues. help.

it isn't a drug. don't worry friends.

masakit.

2005-12-05T10:47:00.000+08:00

...ang aking katawan. it feels like nakatulog ako on top of an uneven cement floor. my back feels like breaking and my left arm is sort of numb.

...ang aking ulo. migraine na ito. kakabasa ko pa lang sa reply ni emmanuel sa OSS, lalong sumakit yung ulo ko. ba't hinde kami nagkakaintindihan? banas men.

...ang aking mata. feeling ko namamaga. it doesn't look it though. nanunuyo pa. damned chink eyes.

...ang aking lalamunan. yes. i'm throwing up blood all over again. a LOT of it. and mind you how much i abhor blood. blood is a life form, and i'm one of those people who believe i should never have to see blood OUTSIDE of the body... EVER. kahit periods. stress daw ung dahilan. stress?! exage ha. can i just tell you how gross it feels. i stopped puking this morning, and up to now, there's still that metallic taste at the back of my throat. no amount of water, hot choco, toothbrushing, gatorate and coffee seems to take it away. just thinking of it makes me more nauseated.

let's not forget what happened on movie night friday pa. i still can't get over that. fuck, ang tanga ko talaga. panira ng friday night. :( so sad. i feel worse tuloy.

three snaps though for fixing one CPU. it's finally working! yipee. me setting up hardware? wow. finally, a testament to my IT-ship.

it's another overrated monday for me. i wish i could go home and sleep. tomorrow, come hell or high water, i'll get my SL. stay in bed. get some nice warm mushroom soup with my mommy by my side. :(

god i feel awful.

already my time to rule the universe?

2005-12-01T18:53:00.000+08:00

is it?

choose first, ask questions later

2005-11-30T18:13:00.000+08:00

uno.

matagal ko na pangarap manood ng "ang pagdadalaga ni maximo oliveros". summer pa ata nun. at the time, yung screening na alam ko nasa UP pa. shempre, hinde ako pumupunta sa UP. i don't have anything against UP. it's just too far and i don't know how to commute. oo na, inutil na ako. pero, since les suddenly emailed a review of the flick, naremember ko ulet yung plans ko nung summer. it's showing na. yehey! ang saya ko at manonood kami ni chris/xuj nun sometime soon! pasko na kasi eh kaya manlilibre si chris/xuj. tsaka ang tagal ko na rin di nakakapanood ng cine. yung cine na kwela ha, hinde mga blockbuster at big-budget-hollywood-marketed movies. iaaya ko rin si ted manood.

basically, it's a pink film that's got heart. sabi nga ng friend ko sa canada, it's one of the few rare filipino films about alternative lifestyle folks (aka. gays/lezzies) that isn't stupid or focused on the carnal.

for me, it's a bigger picture than that. it's a coming of age film, in a lifestyle so different from my own and yet the characters portray those of everday urban pinoy folk. a gay tween living with financially challenged brothers and parents who love him and accept him in all his queerness. a cop who's both good and bad. these are the sort of characters i enjoy. people who have a lot more dimension to them and who make viewers realize that you both love and hate the characters at the same time. people whose humanity shines on all sides of the way they give life to the script.

two.

oh my, halos nakalimutan ko na ikwento. si chris/xuj kasi eh, nung tinext ko nung saturday halos walang paki. di man lang nagreply?! tama ba yun? anong klaseng kaibigan un diba? huhuhu. gets ko pa yung di pagreply sa aim. pero sa text?! hay. oh well. no more drama muna.
nung saturday, pauwi na ako galing ortigas at nagtaxi ako sa tapat ng gabriel. hataw to the max yung driver. walang paki sa pagmaneho. sa u-turn pa lang eh halos nagkawhiplash na ako. sa may sanmig corner shaw, dumerecho sha sa red light. take note ha, 11pm pa lang yun at marami pang kotse sa shaw. na side swipe namin yung isang batang kalye. narrow miss lang dun sa kalentong jeep at pepsi van.

sa sheridan, derecho lang sha. walang paki sa humps. (mah humps mah humps mah humps! mah love-leh lay-deh lumps!) madilim pa naman dun. at yes, side swipe ulet ng tricycle si manong taxi driver.

sa pagkanan naman sa pioneer, hinde ulet tumingin si manong. wala pa akong 10 minutes sa taxi na yun, alam ko na ako'y dapat magingat. todo ang pag brace ng sarili.

kumanan si manong. fuck, ang daming kotse. ayan, natamaan kami sa may left bumper. malakas yung tama ah. yung ulo ni manong eh nag collide sa kanyang steering wheel. ayan kasi hinde naman nakaseatbelt.

shempre ako'y nabadtrip. eh ang tanga ng driver, iilang beses ba dapat i-implore na look-before-you-drive-please. labas si taxi driver. labas ang driver ng pajero na "8" yung plate. pakdishet, government boy pa yung natamaan namin. at hinde pa sha driver ha... as in congressman or other whatnotshit sha. may mga red plates bao biao's pa na nasa likod nya.
nagsigawan sila sa labas ng kotse. the usual shit. tapos fuck, ung metro tumatakbo pa. lalo akong nainis kaya lumabas ako. dun lang napansin nay may pasahero pala yung taxi. may mga pulis na. may mga bao biao (bodyguard. private army. yada yada. use similar terms.) pa yung congressman or mayor or senator. basta, di ko sha kilala at hinde sha sikat tulad nila enrile or pangilininan.

tinanong nila kung ok lang ako. sabi ko ok naman, walang nabali or dumudugo. nakabrace naman ako eh. sabi ng mamang pulis na kukuha raw sha ng statement. o sige naman ako, sabay kwento tungkol sa manong taxi na hinde nararapat magkaroon ng lisensha. tapos fuck, so ayun, direct witness na daw diba? then the manong taxi says na liar daw ako. nagiimbento daw ako. wow ha. shove it up your ass jackhole.

walang kalabanlaban yung taxi driver. government man yung nabunggo niya eh. sa statements pa lang, eh they hauled him off to jail na. malamang, bubugbugin sha or something dun. tapos, ako naman, inofferan ihatid sa bahay ng 8-plate man. sabi ko no thanks na lang, malapit na house ko eh. kahit na 8-plate pa yan ha, ayoko nga mag-associate. malay mo malulon pa ako sa utang-na-loob. eh di nga ako bumoboto eh. sabi niya ok. sure ba raw ako? oo naman po. sure na sure. so nagutos sha sa isang bao biao niya na mag para ng taxi para sakin.

ayun, nagpasalamat ako. kinuha nya contact info ko (ngayon, ako na si grace baes, 09223107819.) safety first nga naman diba, kahit na 8-plater ka man or hinde.

parang lately napapansin ko na dumarami ang mga bad incidents sa akin ha. ano ba meron? karma ba ito dahil sa *toot*? or sa constant complaining ko sa trabaho?

three.

nagooffer si *toot* ng technofunc (ABAP! MM! TRAINING!) job sa *toot*. mas func kesa techno! bigyan natin ito ng consideration. masaya ako at hinde kasama ung companya nila sa napakahabang NDA list namin. mwehehehe. countdown na ito! 7++ months nalang! show me some love naman!

sabi ni daddy, (at ni mommy at ng marami ko pang mga older friends) na kung di raw masaya sa kasalukuyang trabaho eh dapat umalis na at palitan ito. may mga bond rin ba ang mga ungas na yan?

si jep kanina... "di, masaya ka ba talaga sa ginagawa mo? baka naman iniisip mo lang na gusto mo yang mga goals mo sa buhay, pero sa totoo eh hinde yan yung nararapat sayo.". wow, hanep men. tama nga naman sha. but then, marami naman interes ang tao eh. di naman ako habang buhay magiging abapper or functional or whatever ekshet. as of now, yan yung directly attainable. hehehe.

four.

panahon na naman ng pagibig! grabe! naexcite na naman ako! for sure, FOREVER na yun! hahaha. *wink wink* basta, NINANG AKO NG FIRSTBORN MO HA!

five.

ayoko na magtrabaho. no offense milo. i love the crew... i love the team... but, i hate CHM. nababanas na ako kay vivek. nabobore na ako sa kakadebug.

pano ba imotivate ang sarili para magtrabaho?

espresso shot weekend

2005-11-29T11:50:00.000+08:00

first things first, congratulations to the University of Asia and the Pacific chorale for winning 2nd place in the NAMCYA 2005 College Choir division. galing galing talaga! and before i forget, congratulations to Saint Louis University (Baguio) for winning 1st and to the University of Mindanao something something I-forgot-where for placing 3rd! wow. nakakatuwa. congrats mandoy sa choir nyo! ubod ng galing pare!

to the UAPC, next time, 3rd naman ha! joke.

friday.

met up with affie sa st. francis tiangge something to look for stuff para sa monito-monita and for ara's gift part-two-of-five series. saw juli and pat there. ended up stalking the stalls for good finds. nothing out of the blue talaga. same old tiangge crap you can find mostly anywhere else. i'd think village bazaars are better pa nga eh. and what sucks is that each stall more or less has the same stuff as the next. useless.

ended up waiting for chipi and lorrie and we all headed to shakey's sa mega para mag dinner. masaya. i don't know what the hell happened to me that night! as in SHAMELESS talaga! so hyper and so completely unapologetic for it. sorry chipi for showing you my baliw side... at least si aff and si pat mejo nasanay na... hehehe.

after dinner and after tons of ACM recountings and this-year-ACM-disaster-in-Ateneo retellings, pat and juli decided to accompany me to the condo para mabigay ko ke ken yung part two ko para kay ara. it was around 10:30-ish and the boys were dead na. pagod sa rehearsals siguro. ayun, woke teddy up, gave ken ara's gift and then said my goodbyes and goodnights.

reminder: those SHOES for 550 daw. go back and see if you can haggle to the 400-450 range. if yeah, those'll be ara's part-three-of-five. olrayt.

saturday.

woke up LATE! hahaha! and C5 was so TRAFFIC! kakahiya talaga kay orson kasi dapat sabay kami pupunta sa CCP para manood kina ted. and i told him to go sa shang at 11! eh 12 na nga wala pa ako sa mall. sobrang jahe ke orson. pero all's well kasi naglunch na lang kami sa trattoria before taxi-ing to CCP. the guy at the resto served us the wrong pizza, pero all's good, either way masarap pa rin. sabay parehas pa kami ng pasta. we really planned to stuff ourselves to bits because 1.) we both hadn't eaten breakfast yet and 2.) most likely the competition would last until late at night.

on the way, at late na kami, tumawag si affie na sa balcony 1 daw bumili ng tickets. shempre, complete faith in my friend diba, sabi ko kay orson, "remember ha, balcony 1 sabi ni aff.". pagdating sa CCP, bumili kami ng tickets sa Box Office booth. Aba aba, nasa 3rd floor yung balcony 1 ha... at hinde lang iyon, NASA PINAKALIKOD PA NAKAPWESTO sina affie. exage. as in ang layo namin sa stage. the only way i can explain it.. isipin mo nasa superferry ka, tapos nasa may sides, tinitingnan mo yung mga flying fish na nasa tubig. alam mo yun? kita mo yung fish pero, hinde mo talaga kita? pero alam mo na fish yung mga gumagalaw sa baba ng ship? gets ba? PERO, MAY PURPOSE IYON! ayan, dahil dun kami sa mejo sulok na pwesto, eh di nakapagvideo si lorrie ng performance ng chorale. shempre ako si aff at si orson, well... natulog. after each choir, matutulog tas magigising then matutulog ulet. nanood ng entire performance ng UAPC then natulog ulet.

yung first half, mga magaling. yung second, no offense to all cebuanos pero mejo funky yung vox choir ha. tapos yung soprano girl pa na parang paco-park singer. grabe yung vibratto mo! as in tuwing naririnig ko parang naiimagine ko yung mga visual sound waves na nacecreate ng boses mo! hahaha, dalang dala ang buong choir, grabe.

pagbalik sa seats after the intermission, they announced the winners. shempre, hinde kami first, pero personally, no big deal yung para sakin. the winners really deserved it naman eh. ang angas angas pa ng costumes nila. tapos yung parang folksong piece nila, putek! da best men! think... najavo fire dance. bow ako sa guy na iyon.

but, i really was proud of the chorale (mine ha) kasi hinde sila sore losers. i texted to ted that i was so happy that they were gracious about being second. it shows a lot of maturity and confidence as individuals and as a group. dahil lang dun umangat ang tingin ko sa performance nila. or baka nadala lang yung sa mga picture-taking session after... hahaha. joke.

sunday.

nagcelebrate kami ng birthday ng mommy ko. big five-oh na niya eh. ang mga guests namin... mga sedanos. tagal ko na sila di nakikita. last time was new years pa sa rooftop ng kassel condo. maganda yung new years na yun... for like the first five minutes. after nun, puros usok na lang at putok yung nakikita at naririnig ko. dapat next time, nasa tuktok ako somewhere in antipolo para kita pa rin lahat pero at the same time enjoy pa rin sa nature.

monday.

holiday pala. nakalimutan ko. i slept at around 4am nung sunday night, woke up 3 hours later kasi akala ko may pasok, naligo at halos nagfreakout dahil wala pala akong slacks na malinis nung nakuha ko text ni shi na gusto niya lumabas dahil nga holiday. ay. tanga ko talaga. so natulog na lang ako ulet. dami ko nga dapat ginawa kahapon eh, pero nakalimutan ko lahat. dapat ipapaayos ko yung pc. dapat isesetup ko yung cable sa kabilang tv. dapat ififile ko na lahat ng credit card statements at kung ano ano pa. tapos narealize ko na may migraine ako. so buong araw, nasa kama lang ako, nagprepretend na nakaIV sa baso ng buko juice at yung lifeline ko yung discovery travel and living. hehehe.

tuesday.

may pasok ngayon. ala si bos leyo kaya walang breakfast. nagbukas na lang ako ng aking trusty vienna sausage packs dito. sablay at wala akong kanin. at nasusuka pa ako. di ko alam kung sa aftertaste yan ng cake (ni wala naman akong kinain na cake ngayon... nasa utak ko lang yun at nadidiri na ako sa dami ng cake sa bahay) or sa kulang sa tubig (oh buko juice, where art thou? i needst thee to live.) yung ticket na pinapainvestigate ni milo sakin na talagang kay ac eh baka ma coclose. yung oss naman di pa nagrereply sa mga iopen ko na dialogue. the rest, ayun, dead end pa rin.

walong buwan na lang to freedom!!! may pagasa ba akong umasenso in eight months?

Support the UA&P Chorale at NAMCYA National Finals!

2005-11-23T14:39:00.000+08:00

Having won first prize at the Regional Competition last October, the University of Asia and the Pacific Chorale will represent the National Capital Region (NCR) in the National Music Competitions for Young Artists (NAMCYA) College Choir Category.

The National Finals for the College Choir Category are on November 26, 2005 (Saturday), 2 p.m. at the Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo (CCP Main Theater), Cultural Center of the Philippines, Manila. The UA&P Chorale will be the third choir to perform. Tickets for the event will be available at the entrance of the theater, and are priced at P200 and below. (Note to UA&P students, faculty and staff who will attend the finals: please wear red to show your support for the Chorale, and forward this information to others from UA&P!)

The UA&P Chorale, conducted by choirmaster Arwin Tan, will compete against other regional champions from all over the Philippines. A total of 7 college choirs qualified to compete in the National Finals. Choirs are required to prepare 7 songs from different time periods and genres, including the contest piece. On the day of the contest, however, they will only be asked to sing the contest piece and 3 of the prepared pieces, which will be chosen by the judges on the spot. The UA&P Chorale's repertoire is as follows:

Renaissance: Exsultate Justi
Romantic: Abendlied
Early 20th Century: Salve Regina
Late 20th Century: Mundi renovatio
Philippine Folk/Ethnic Song: Bal-laygi
OPM Song: Bituing Walang Ningning
Contest Piece: Butiki

NAMCYA is the Philippines' most prestigious national musical competition for young musicians, devoted to discovering and developing the musical talent of the Filipino youth since 1973. This year, NAMCYA takes the theme: Pintig: Puso at Pulso ng Kabataan to highlight the balance of expressiveness and technical proficiency of the musical artistry of our young musicians and dancers. NAMCYA 2005 opened at 10 a.m. on November 22 at the CCP Main Theater and closes with awarding ceremonies on November 27, 7 p.m. at the CCP Main Theater.

NAMCYA delegates come from all 16 regions of the Philippines. For NAMCYA 2005, the other competition categories aside from College Choir are: Youth (High School) Choir, Solo Voice (Categories A-C), Dance (Ballet), Strings (Levels A-C), High School Rondalla, Guitar, and Chamber Music (Levels A-C). An estimated 3,600 young musical artists participated in the regional competitions.

SCHEDULE OF COMPETITIONS:
College Choir - Finals: November 26, 2pm, Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo (TNA);
Youth Choir - Finals: November 25, 2pm, Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo (TNA);
Solo Voice (Category C) - Semifinals: November 25, 8am, Tanghalang Aurelio Tolentino (TAT), Finals: November 26, 8am, TAT;
Solo Voice (Category B) - Semifinals: November 25,8am, Tanghalang Huseng Batute; Finals: Nov. 26, 8am,THB;
Solo Voice (Category A) - Semifinals: November 25,3pm, THB, Finals: Nov. 26, 3pm, THB;
Dance (Ballet) - Semifinals: Nov. 26, 3pm, TAT, Finals: Nov. 27, 1pm,TAT.
Strings Category (Levels A-C) - Semifinals: November 23, 8am, Tanghalang Huseng Batute (THB); Finals: Nov. 24, 8am, THB;
High School Rondalla - Finals: November 24, 8am, Tanghalang Nicanor Abelardo (TNA);
Guitar and Chamber Music (Levels A-C) - Semifinals: November 24, 3pm, Tanghalang Huseng Batute (THB), Finals: November 27, 8am, Tanghalang Huseng Batute;

Concerts on Philippine Traditional Music will also be among the main features of the competitions. They will be held on November 25 and 26 at 10 a.m. at the CCP Main Theater.

For more details, please call the NAMCYA National Secretariat at 832-3701, 8321120 locals 109 and 116 or visit http://www.namcya.org.ph/ .

things are much more dangerous than they seem

2005-11-23T13:57:00.000+08:00

Merong nag email sakin today. Isa shang... anong politically correct term para dun? Ahhh, hearing-impaired and verbally-challenged person. In short, deaf and mute. Ayun. Nagemail sha na gusto daw nya sana na imention ko sha sa mundo (na nasasakupan ng blog ko). He said, and I quote "I admire your sense of direction and the way you live your life to the fullest. Ive actually fed your site onto a newsreader so I can see all the updates as they happen. Ive never met anyone from the other side of the world before (sic) through your eyes I get to read know understand you and your kind firsthand." Aba, putek ata yan... "you and your kind"? Ano ako? Ibang specie of humanoid? Tsk tsk. Pero katuwa naman. At least kahit papano may audience na pala ako. Bwahaha. At take note, Swiss sha! Astig! May fan na ako, Swiss pa! Parang Toblerone! (walang connection, I know.) Kaya mejo tinagalog ko ito... para in case, hinde nya talangang maiintindihan na sha nga yung pinaguusapan ko. Bwahaha.

Hi Henri! I'm glad you like my site.Ü

Anyhows, (sige, English na ulet para maintindihan ng fan ko. Mwehehehe.) yesterday night, Xianne and I hung out at Wendy's after work. We didn't notice the time, and before we knew it, we'd let an hour slip by. So much for a 'quick' snack eh? I turned to the left, said by goodbyes and headed off to walk the hundred-meters that separated me from the tricycle line...

A guy tapped me on the shoulder and in Filipino said, "Ang daming mga magnanakaw dito noh? Mga pickpocket? (There are many thieves here right? Many pickpockets?)" I nodded my yes and turned away to line up when he suddenly held my shoulder. "Miss, alam mo pano pumunta sa Gabby's? Nanakawan kasi ako sa MRT eh, pwede pahingi ng pamasahe? (Miss, do you know how to go to Gabby's? My things were stolen on the MRT, could I have some money for fare?)" I said no, turned around completely and walked away.

I got in the trike, when this stranger suddenly gets INSIDE WITH ME and asks me if I could drop him off on the way. At this point, I sort of freaked out. I mean, I can't stand strangers talking to me and then this guy's suddenly best friends with me?! He asks for money? He wants to hitch a ride?! Fucking horror fest in my opinion!

To my shame, I actually screamed. Think high-pitched stabbing-scene straight out of a horror flick. Then I pushed him out of the trike. And told him to get away. REALLY LOUDLY.

The trike driver and the manong-pila-person scoped out the scene. "Miss, kilala mo ba ito? (Miss, do you know this guy?)", they asked.

"NEGATIVE! NO! HINDE!" I exclaim as I get out of the trike. I'm looking for a way out. A safe place. Ah, I see Mercury Drug and it's full of people and has a guard with a shotgun.

Then the guy has the guts to pretend like he's a 'friend' and that we're having a fight or something... "Baby, wag mo na ako awayin. Nakakahiya. Maraming tao. Sa bahay nalang. (Baby, don't fight with me. It's embarrassing. There are many people. Do it at home instead.)"

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOD! FREAK!!!

Thank God the people at the tricycle line sort of recognize me 'cause I ride there so often. They told the guy to leave me alone and go away. Good thing too that the trike driver behind mine was a 'neighbor' and vouched for my safety home.

Fucking traumatic!

JESUS, I DO NOT EVER WANT TO EXPERIENCE THAT AGAIN!

tara, poker tayo!

2005-11-23T09:10:00.000+08:00

Life is a game of cards..
You did not invent the game...
Nor did you frame the rules..
You have no control over the cards dealt to you...
But you are there to play..
A good player, even with a bad hand of cards, will play well and emerge a winner...
A bad player, even with the best of cards, will play badly and lose.

How Are You Playing It?

Maybe it's the strange new atmosphere?

2005-11-22T17:44:00.000+08:00

"I can't stand it!" I like it!
It's like a guarantee.
My new philosophy.
And things are sure to be a whole lot brighter

"Oh, yeah? That's what you think!"

"Why are you telling me?"

"No!"

"I can't stand it!"

Now life is free and easy,
Much more philosophy-zy,

With my brand new --

You know, someone had said that we should live every day as if it were the last day of our life.

Aaugh! This is the last day!!! This is it!!! I only have twenty-four hours left!!! Help me! Help me! This is the last day!!! Aaaaaurgh!

Clearly, some philosophies aren't for all people. And that's my new philosophy!

goodbyes and GAS

2005-11-21T10:22:00.000+08:00

Uno.
Dewi's gone. Truth is, I was devastated to see her go. But on Saturday morning, I was talking to Q and he said something that went, "Why are you so hung up on the fact that you're friend is leaving? You weren't that close to her anyway...". Of course, you come on defensive. Dewi IS my friend and I'll always look at her as such, but reality is exactly that. Dewi and I really aren't close. We're more of circumstance buddies - in the sense that we became friends because we more or less know the same people and hang with the same weekend crowd. Given a different environment, I honestly believe that we wouldn't be friends. She's a great person and all but she's not the sort of personality I'd have leaned towards. Nevertheless, I do miss her. She's gone and things change. She'll always be my friend of the HERE and NOW, but I've gone through this too many times before to lie to myself that if and when she returns, we'll all just carry on as before. I'm being a pessimist here. On Friday night, I broke down before I could even tell her what I felt. :( Haha, that's so typically me. Crybaby. Damnit, I hate goodbyes… and I know that I'm saying goodbye.

Goodbye to you, Dewi -- for now. I wish you all the best in Australia… I hope you make great friends there, friend's who'll fill out the empty spaces we left in your heart. I hope your life continues to be the adventure of a lifetime, and that you'll always be content and happy wherever it takes you.

Dos.
Saturday afternoon I treated Monch out to watch Harry Potter. First time for her, fourth time for me. The Goblet of Fire is like wine, it gets better with age. First time I watched it, I didn’t really like it. Either that or I really needed to take a leak and I was too distracted to take note of the details. So on Saturday, I headed off to Greenbelt at around three in the afternoon. Since she still had class, I went around the mall looking for jeans to buy. Bad move… it was a sale and clothes were cheap. I ended up buying tons of tops. ANG CHEAP NILA! Kakatuwa talaga. Afterwards, dumating na si Monch at si Ms. Taulava. We headed off to Greenbelt to buy movie tickets… Oooh, next bad move. Fuck! Ang haba ng lines! We were there at 4pm… and the next available tickets at the cinema were the last full shows. Hay, oh well, we wanted talaga to watch so we got the midnight tickets. Ok lang, malapit lang naman house ko eh. Bwahaha. Pampalipas oras, nag shopping ulet kami. Ikot sa SM Makati (nice bargains there, btw)… and then at the last minute bumili ng Havaianas sa Gas. Sale! Super cheap! Even better than the discount rates at the actual Havaianas store! Hahaha. What a happy week - except I haven't bought jeans yet.

bao biao

2005-11-15T18:04:00.000+08:00

You know what I dislike? I dislike doing things that I sort of have an idea on what to do... except I don't know exactly where to do it. I'm talking about code in this case. Debugging sucks ass big time. Standard code sucks ass even more. CHM sucks. Ok sana sha kung mas enjoyable sha pero hinde eh... Larry to the third power, ipaCHM brownbags mo naman kami ng kambal ko. Nabobobo na ako eh.

What's worse? Intermittent LAN connections. Wala na nga ako magagawa for the day, pipilitin pang mas ma bwisit dahil sa napuputol na VPN. Damn you CIO. Damn you Gateway.

Sana 6750 pa rin ang Tee-Ay.

Update: The other fishy pillows I want cost around 19 - 22 US$ each depending on the kind of fish. Putek. Ang mahal! Plus 35$ for shipment costs pa. So aabot ng 57$ yung Red Fish na gusto ko. Haaay. But at least I know where I can order them na. Thanks sa site Chris... as if binabasa mo ito noh? Hehehe.Ü

Five celebrities at ACN Cybergate:
Jason Molina
Ric Batchar
Sherwin Pelayo
Divine Alab
Bena Gerardino

Settle down children.

2005-11-14T17:59:00.000+08:00

Uno.
I don’t know what to do with my life. I need more activities. Anyone recommend anything… besides looking for a God, playing chorale groupie and playing with guns?

Dos.
I had the worst sleeping experience this weekend. Seriously. I am SO not exaggerating. Maybe just a little more emo than usual due to the onslaught of hormones that come along with the horrible monthly visitor shit… but still. As in hinde ako makatulog! And I wasn't feeling like an insomniac either. It was because… tat tat taran! Wala na si Pastor Fish sa aking bed. *Hey! No dirty thoughts!* :( no more fave peachy pillow fishy for me. He's going to go back to A'ra and perhaps to stay in CDO where he can play with all the other peachy pillow fishes like himself. Waaah. In return for my great sacrifice, ako naman ang hinde makatulog. :( I need a new peachy pillow fishy! Gusto ko grouper/lapu-lapu naman itsura this time. Possible ba to buy another fish pillow online kaya? Basta. I want a new one. No. I NEED a new one. Add that to my Christmas list people.

Tres.
Anyone know a place with great Cobb salads? Kung may mahanap ka, sabihan mo ko… libre kita.Ü Ayos?

Cuatro.
Late reaction… OH MY BUNTIS SIYA! (office heartshaker.) At SIYA RIN! (someone's ex girlfriend.) and pati SIYA! (former clique-y.) People! Use CONDOMS for god's sake. Ano ba? In ba maging preggy ngayon? Shemay. I'm sooo not pa-uso effect. Hardy har har!

Cinco.
I miss CAT. I'm so out of touch. I feel objectified.

Joke.

Pero I really do miss CAT.

Seis.
I changed numbers. My primary phone is now 09189115808. I'm still using the sun number although I won’t guarantee that I'll receive your messages. Just in case, contact me through smart instead.

Siete.
5 things I wish the Philippines had:
An awesome public library… like the one in Boston. :
Hardees
Hybrid Cars
Soy Pumpkin Spice Latte
SNOW!

What a way to start a day

2005-11-09T10:01:00.000+08:00

Rush ako pumasok sa office dahil may conf call kami sa client ng alas ocho. Feeling ko napuwing ata ako dahil sa construction sa building katabi namin. Nung umakyat na ako ng elevator… naiirritate na yung mata ko. Shempre, rush pumunta sa desk tapos rush hanapin kung saan sina Chason. Tapos lalong naiirita yung mata ko. So sige, habang nasa conf room, kumuha ako ng water tas ni-rinse ko yung lens. Nung binalik ko sa mata, may irritation pa rin. So sige, ni soak ko muna sa water dahil lahat ng taong nagdadala ng solution eh wala pa sa office… tas paglagay ulet sa mata… makati pa rin. Kaya yun, hinanap ko si Malou at hiniram yung solution nya. Pero nagiiritate pa rin yung lens kahit na nilagyan na ng solution. Nung tinanggal ko ung lens, may hiwa sa gitna nito. Punit na pala sha.

Ngayon, officially HALF DAY ako (dahil isa lang na mata yung nakakakita). Malamang uuwi ako maya maya (bwahahaha! Advantage ng malapit ang bahay sa office!) at magsusuot na lang ako ng salamin. Or ng mga reserve lenses sa bahay. Feeling ko din may slight na sugat yung eyeball ko mismo. Pano kaya lagyan ng bandaid yan eh noh? Mwehehehe.

Naiinis ako lalo dahil nasasayang ang aking productive hours dahil sa bwisit na lens na yan. Hay.

Sige, mag sharing is caring na lang ako ng poem na nakita ko si libro ni Milo. Maganda eh.

I have only just a minute.
Only sixty seconds in it.
Didn’t seek it,
didn’t choose it.
But it's up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it.
Give account if I abuse it.
Just a tiny little minute.
But eternity is in it.

format?

2005-11-08T13:49:00.000+08:00

hey reader, sira ba yung format ng blog posts ko dito? kasi kapag nasa office ako, sira yung paragraph na syntax... pero sa house, or sa ibang browsers na hinde IE, ok naman. hay nakow. ang hirap pa naman magremodel ng CSS ekhet. sige reader, sa multiply niyo na lang basahin yung mga entries ko. parehas lang naman eh. may pictures at kung ano ano pang bagay na nandun. enjoy!

life reminder

2005-11-08T10:51:00.000+08:00

Got this from Zen's friendster blog... it's a nice repost dontcha think?

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

then Milo replies...

milo: lesson: Never depend on someone... Friends are there to keep you company... but they might fail you... infact, they will will most of the time. my take... depend on the one who never live you and still faithful even if you are not. you know who He is.
milo: alam mo ba na He depended on his friends din? and he was failed 3 times.
diane: i know
diane: but friends make life nicer. :-)
milo: yah
milo: i agree

hi friends! i love you guys!

Baby, chocolate stars!

2005-11-07T11:20:00.000+08:00

Hirit of the Week goes to Dex (also the source of… "This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting."):

Di ko maintindihan ang babae. I never understand how they can take boiling hot
wax and pour it on their thighs then rip the hair out by the root, and still be
afraid of cockroaches. Ibang klase pare.

Other Things I want:
DVD of Napoleon Dynamite.
My Chemical Romance's CD.
Him.
Pwede ring the other Him kung papayag si... (Bwahahahahaha! I remember my messages with Teddy! Peace Ted!)
The clock that won the Nobel Prize for Economics. [Invented by Gauri Kadoch of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, for inventing an alarm clock that runs away and hides, repeatedly, thus ensuring that people DO get out of bed, and thus theoretically adding many productive hours to the workday. Brilliant diba?! Especially for people like me.]

My dad came home this weekend. Haven't seen him since… March, I think. Pasalubong was all sorts of durian products, as well as giant lemons. Lemons the size of grapefruits. You know, the kind they make lemonade from. Homemade durian ice cream! I love the durian ice cream! Fabulously yummy. Lemon mint ice cream! Yummier… Raspberry Lemon sorbet! Suddenly, I'm craving for ice cream.

We went to EK. Masaya sha, for a while. Fucker talaga. Of all days, we had to go on the student discount day… and on semestral break during a national holiday nonetheless. The place was frigging populated! Hour long lines for 30 second rides! And the Rio Grande… gave up on that… the line snaked around even outside the structure! That would've taken hooours. I don't care about 8 people being able to ride per go… HOURS I'm telling you! WAITING IN LINE FOR HOURS! PARANG COLLEGE ENROLLMENT! Grrrrr. Sobrang lugi sa entrance. At least a hundred bucks cheaper or so. But still, for around 60 pesos per ride… what a useless EK trip.

After that, we headed off to Sanctuario in Tagaytay. The place is the same as I left it last, except this time, we stayed downstairs (usually sa round table sa main floor kami) and the airconditioning wasn't working properly. Second badtrip moment, they didn't have the caldereta that I always order. Sold out na raw. Hay nakow. Masaya naman. Tama nga naman sabi ni Marla, at least this time, I got to hang out with a 'different' crowd. Enjoy pa rin kahit papano. Paguwi ko pa, tumawag si Eric at may utos na naman na bago. O diba? Ang saya?! HINDE!

Then on Saturday, I babysat Callie, an adorable eleven month old and her 'baby' Sam, a gigantic golden retriever. I had to leave the pooch at home, as he was, ummm… huge and not really pwede to bring inside malls. Hirap pala to travel with a baby. Ang daming burloloy na kelangan dalhin. I needed the all around diaper/extra clothes/cleanup stuff/bottle bag and the carrier. I gave up on the car seats and the stroller. I figured carrying her backpack style would be more convenient for me than having to load and unload heavier baby props. Besides, training na rin yan para sa mountaineering. Hehehe. I must've carried 30 pounds of stuff for a full eight hours. Shet.

Callie and I headed off to chocolovers place in Cubao and bought stuff para gumawa ng molds para sa chocolates. Ngayon, may mga christmas trees and chocolate stars na ako! Ang ganda nila. Yung trees green talaga with candy 'balls' and a candy angel pa. Bongga itoh day! Next, lalagyan ko na ng food coloring yung white chocolate para I can decorate the star molds ala 'parol' style. I need to bake a cake rin pala. Tsaka yung cathedral ekshet. Plus I need to remake my originally sablay suman and then make a couple batches of leche flan. Wow, ang domestic ko ata.

Belated happy birthday to me! Wooohooo! Thanks to all the peeps who greeted by way of text, emails, calls, IM msgs, my mom, saying so to my face, etc etc.

Pooj Markov and Angel Parikh! You guys are still alive! Wow. I feel honored that you tracked me down and then found this site then emailed me from that. Awesome! Real friends are those who survive the transition between address books, you said, but I'm happy you made the effort!Ü

Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand; Love to forgive; And patience for his moods; because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death.

oh the things i can think, i think.

2005-10-30T21:56:00.000+08:00

i heart you but i wont tell you again, leastways, not today. we already reached a quota. hehehe. all you gotta know is that i got your back.

your cousin entertains me too much. happy. happy. is he ok? i think at times he's a little short on the brains. too bad he didn't pass last june. :( steady lang naman buhay jan diba?

he says he needs cash for alcohol research. jesus, if jerks could fly, he'd be at NASA. alcohol research my ass. what a lame excuse. a five year old could make a better alcoholic's reason than that.

who is she? your mom? she's hot. very MILFable eric said. ranks right up to kelly preston in his book. is she plasticized?

congrats ate carmi ann! from IT to army. it gets you a greencard so it's fine with me. although i never see you online anymore.

payday was friday, and i forgot... finally withdrew money today. i can't believe i work forty hours a week to be this poor. grrr. the utter frustration.

happy orgasm day everyone! really! it is! so to all sexually active beings, happy orgasm day! and you! YOU WHO HAS 'HERPES' (i didn't place the std, you did... always remember that)... how's it going? bwahahaha. i miss you dude.

belated happy 21st (twice!!!) beerday xianne. sorry. i'm really really bad with birthdays.

and to my startgroup, happy 15th month guys (belated)!

disorientation in isolation

2005-10-29T17:38:00.000+08:00

ken's in cebu. ted's in ortigas. haven't heard from aff in days. ek's, malamang nasa house lang... or nasa cavite... or sa place ng mommy niya. si peter papunta ke lolo sa aklan. si ii and bry and tesh and joch and chipi... no idea really. ako, nasa harap ng pc.

si mark nasa saudi. si rachel papuntang disney sa HK (baka makita mo pa yung friend kong si ken.). si shiyo, julie, migs at steve andun pa rin sa beach, naghuhuli ng jellyfish. si q, ayun, naglilibot ng mundo. the other saudi kids... hmmm... lost maybe?

si angel i guess nasa house ng lola niya. guess lang. si dewi... paranaque? si chin nasa pampanga. did ed go home to cebu rin ba? i guess not. (congrats ulet sa chorale). the rest of chorale... i'll bet they're still revolving around the ortigas area...

si manoy mandy nasa tarlac (byebye mrs. carlos, ingat po sa trip mo). beni's near pa rin kina arvin. si kuya erwin papasalubungan ako ng snow. si dar malapit kay xianne at si xianne malapit sa house ng lola ko. kamusta na kaya sina abby, pham, ganie, harlie, jo, marlon at madame amore? may utang pa pala ako kay gerick. oops.

si chikee at monch kasama ko ngayon. along with james and the other sanga's. si budi, bukas pa ata darating. si ely nasa davao at naghuhunting ng perfect baboy. si janjan, mawi at brando slaves pa rin ni attorney. si jason at chris di naman nagtetext eh... except for their forwards.

si master team lead milo nasa province nya... or kasama si ate bebiko... or both. si cha, nasa house. kurips yun eh. bwahahaha. i don't think geoff went home to iligan. and of course dianne's nasa far far away. si bosing leyo? playing with his kids and ministering sa new manila. nice church, btw. i passed by the area and saw it one weekend. basta si master draide, kasama ang mommy kahit nasaan man sha sa mundo.

it's 6 pm.... do you know where your friends are?

reminders to self:
01. aeroboxing
02. aloha palm
03. pair emotion

oh wow. it's my first time to use prepaid internet in nearly a year. bwahahaha.

my happy text of the day comes from ludwig (hi ludwig!!! of course i remember you!) who so nicely sent me "ei d, ur my smile 2day.Ü". shempre my bad and i had to go ask him who he was pa. he didn't use his (does he even have one?) celphone either. anyway, i'm happy that i made him happy. just as he was happy that he made me happy. labo? oh no.

duerme negrita

2005-10-26T19:22:00.000+08:00

im a frickin' negro.

red indian.

swim on the weekend. swim on the weekdays. swim at dawn. swim right before lunch. swim at siesta. swim at the afternoon. take a pool dip at night. sleep and watch horror flicks in between. damn, i missed this life. seven more days till i return to work!

i text people who _dont_ text back. tsk tsk. you know who you are, if you even read this. life with sun cellular is screwing me up. daddy! punta ka na dito para sakin na yung smart mo!

congrats to the chorale for winning the namcya regionals today. i'm really sorry i wasn't able to go... had a mix-up in flight skeds kasi, tapos na delay naman flight ko. useless! november 26, i promise talaga manonood ako. as in for sure to death i will be there. at least that's a saturday naman. so i don't need to file a leave (as if papayagan ako ni bosing leyo) or take a sick-o down.

shi (sorry for not texting! naubos kakatext sa chorale yung load ko! WE WON!), the flight was a little boring. not much turbulence. i took an aisle seat kasi super bright naman kasi the sunlight. besides, i don't really like flying on small planes. the barbeque place you were asking about isn't there anymore na raw sabi ng driver. we didn't go swimming in the beach today. stuck to the pool kasi anna wanted to learn how to 'snorkel'. ima be meeting up with sila julie and steve tomorrow afternoon. i get back on the 29th pa, derecho na kina tita claire yung flight namin. ano gusto mong pasalubong? from here ba or from subic na lang? di pa raw sure if pupunta sa memorial sa tuesday, sabi ni mommy. if ever daw, sa 31st na lang instead kasi may pasok na ako sa 3rd eh. pero game pa ba? ayoko naman mapagod eh.

ken, birthday gift mo pagisipan mo na... malapit na at di pa kita nabibilhan. magisip ka na rin ng place.

my sunburns are itching the hell out. i dunno if im red from the sun or because of all the scratching. JELLYFISH ARE HUGE! THEY ARE SOOOO CUTE! a shiny translucent fushia with tentacles a foot long. i feel like spongebob in the jellyfish fields. at least this time, i have protection! bwahahaha!

dami ring tourists now. buti nalang hinde kami nasa resort. thank you q (a.k.a. callmegwapo) for lending us your extremely conyotic resthouse complete with staff, food, transpo, 'toys' (thank you for having internet here. i will genuflect you when i return.), scenic beachfront view and travel itenerary. i sooo love it here. if i didn't have a job (a bond is more like it), and if i could drag all my friends along too, i'd never go back to manila.

migs (a.k.a. sexisforfags) has already claimed your room and your neighborhood girlaloo. she's a pretty biatch. hehehe.

i miss you man! reply? reply!

the tide is calling kiddos. time to swim again.

super babaw moment

2005-10-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

last minute post...

i sms-ed rd a while ago...

me: hey rd, wasap?
rd: gwapo parin, u?

great conversation starter. hehehe. nga naman, gwapo nga naman sha. bwahahaha.